Panic! At the Disco

[MattGSX]

So, what do you get when you combine electronica, punk rock, tragically hip fashion, a completely tone deaf lead singer, off the wall Art Deco semi-post modernist song titles, and solid backing from MTV?

Why, you get Panic! At the Disco.

I know I'm pretty late jumping on this bandwagon, but lately I've been pretty good about insulating myself from pop culture. I don't have cable and I generally only watch/listen to streamed radio, NPR, or local programming. Unfortunately, MTV invaded my university and put these stupid fucking TVs in all the common areas that blast MTV-U 24/7.
I. Swear. This band makes me want to die. I thought that Fall Out Boy was pretentious and unbearable, but FUCK. Add electronic sounding drums and you're in fucking business. I don't get all these borderline hipster emo-rock bands that are coming out. Do I get scene points for listening to something pretentious, but then also lose points for listening to something publicly accepted? Either way, I can feel my IQ dropping every time I wonder why you'd bother chiming in with "Haven't you ever heard of closing the goddamn door?".

I think I'm going to write a Panic! song. I'll make a little diagram for you guys, so you can make one at home.
Repetitive melodic/creepy intro.
Drum-rocked intro, repeated a few times, becomes the chorus.
Verse that just repeats one or two lines a few times, using that melodic line from the intro.
Chorus, using the second intro, along with the same vocals.
Second verse, same as the first.
Chorus.
Chorus.
Bridge, using either the verse without words or some variation of the chorus.
Spoken version of chorus or part of a verse.
Chorus
Chorus
Chorus
Show off your vintage jeans with sport coat ensemble.
Chorus
Chorus
Do some of those "ohs" and "yeahs" that haven't been cool since Everclear.
Chorus.

Now all you have to do is think of some snappy and random title, like "Your take on the scene is my escape route" or, stated better, "I think I'm witty and the modern manifestation of a Kafka-esque take on art and pop culture, but I'm really just a douche". Seriously, between this shit, My Chemical Romance, Hawthorne Heights, Fall Out Boy, and the new AFI, MTV has warped the minds of an entire generation of sheep and convinced them that listening to crappy music, growing out one side of your hair, dressing like a mod with makeup, and spouting psudo-intellectual bullshit while whining about girls and/or contemplating suicide is socially acceptable. These people should be segregated from society and not be allowed to reproduce. Actually, I think they should just be exterminated. I'm sure rehabilitation is possible, but I don't think it's worth it. I do not want to have all these My Chemical Panic! kids alive and latching onto something else, dragging it into the ground and allowing MTV, the self-proclaimed god of pop-culture for the 14-25 year old to commercialize it. God forbid.


Chorus.

[splynt0r]

Word!

btw. What do you think about Wolfmother ?

[Nod]

1337 points for using Kafka-esque correctly in post. I can't listen to any of those guys. With the exception of two songs by Jimmy Eat World and one by Jimmy's Chicken Shack I can say that I hate any emo song regardless of whether I've heard it or not. Panic! At the disco is no different. Except that I have heard their songs on mtv and I can honestly say that they suck. What I don't get is this whole scene they've got going. They're like goths that are lazy so they just half ass on everything, especially the music. When I was a kid it was the rap groups, the alternative/metal, a few punk (Oi oi oi!) kids and the "whatever they play on the radio" kids. Then a little later they added the goth scene which was an offshoot of the alternative/metal scene as a more industrial sound of metal (Lots of synths, tuned down guitars, and creepy looking frontmen). This group's modus operandi was misery, self hatred, and for the hardcore "cutting." {FULL DISCLOSURE: I did temporarily engage in goth behaviour. I have come to terms with this. I did not, however, engage in cutting. It seemed fucking stupid to me. I'm not going to mutilate myself to "ease the pain." That's what drugs and alcohol are for!} {FULL DISCLOSURE: That last sentence was in fact one of the jokes in this post. See if you can find the others!} I think, that emo is the bastard child of punk and goth. Oh, I forgot to do punk didn't I? Well, I'm just going to assume you all know the history of punk. How Green Day saved it and then killed it and drank its fucking blood from its severed neck so that bands like Blink182 and Sum41 could get rich off of something they had no business even calling themselves. That being punk. So anyways, punk and goth make this fucked up kid from suburbia who decides that he wants to be part of something, but he's not quite sure what. So he says "I like rock and roll a lot and I'm not into hip hop so I'm not going to be a hip hop head" and rules out that. Then he thinks "Well, I'm not really into metal so that's not for me either." And that was crossed off the list. "Gosh," he ponders, "goth looks kind of stupid so I'm not going to do that." Anyways, the punchline is he choses emo and it turns out the reason he's been screaming about hating girls for so long is that he's gay.

[MattGSX]

What a beautiful rant. Thanks for the leet point.

I'm reminded of the "emo" video on Youtube. It's pretty lame for being done to Final Fantasy CGI clips, but pretty awesome for the music. "She said she has a pussy; she doesn't need another one". Brilliant.

I forgot about Jimmy Eat World and Modest Mouse, the forerunner to all this bullshit, along with Wolfmother and Franz Ferdinand, the ugly "hard-rock" cousin of the emo-rock bastard child. I should make a genealogy of crappy modern music, starting with downward slope of rock and roll icons and fashion punk bands. I blame Fugazi and Minor Threat.

[rbcp]

I have all of Panic! At the Disco on my Ipod.  Lot of Jimmy Eat World tracks too.  Even Hawthorne Heights.  I am not cool.

[MattGSX]

I have all of Panic! At the Disco on my Ipod.  Lot of Jimmy Eat World tracks too.  Even Hawthorne Heights.  I am not cool.

No, but you are old, and that lets you get away with stuff like that. My mom listens to some pretty MTV-generation accepted music too. Last time I went over there for lunch I heard her humming "Ridin' Dirty", which sounds pretty funny coming from a 50 year old post-menopausal woman.

[gangals]

your mom's vagina feels pretty good for post-menopause

Little do you know, that was actually his dad.

[Nod]

your mom's vagina feels pretty good for post-menopause

Little do you know, that was actually his dad.

Actually it was his mom and his dad. MattGSX is actually the spawn of an asexually reproducing alien come to take over the Earth.

[M-26-7]

Goatse is from outer space?

[Nod]

I thought everyone knew that?

[MattGSX]

HOLY SHIT! I'm from outer space? Awesome

[splynt0r]

Can I have some Alien goo so I can breed a Hybrid?

[murd0c]

For faggy emo electronica-esque hipster bands, Pretty Girls Make Graves are pretty good. Panic At the Disco, however, is shite.

[murd0c]

For burnt-out crazy gay dudes, murdoc sure is. IS

Who is murdoc? I'm Murd0c.

[jammie]

Panic! At the Disco I actually think puts an interesting spin on pop music.  I like them a lot and their music is really catchy.  They have a schtik, but it's cute and at least they're not out making the scene with Pete Wentz.