Disappearing

[ApprenticePhreak]

I got fired from Walmart for stealing over $9000 in gift cards last month.

 

Every time I checked up on this thread I'd often wondered if anyone else caught that bit at all.

[not a banana]

I wanted to keep the amount vague in case someone from Walmart comes across this. It was a bit more than $9000. I'll scan paperwork if you guys want proof.

I think they want cash back, not their own gift cards. They did ask me in my final interview if I had any of the gift cards left. You have to understand I was doing this for 18 months or so. So it may seem high but I really did get away with it (for a while).

[frog]

Last night I thought about this long and hard, and the answer came to me in my dreams. I woke up laughing.

You have to climb to the top of the city walls and use a hangglider. There will be these intense winds that carry you to San Francisco, and you will start a new life there. There will be a couple people from earlier in your life that recognize you, but don't worry about them. Tell them some jokes, and if they are females, flirt with them. One of them will help you escape to the next city after this. Your lucky numbers are 3 and 8.

[Altalp]

I wanted to keep the amount vague in case someone from Walmart comes across this. It was a bit more than $9000. I'll scan paperwork if you guys want.

I would like to see the paperwork.

[frog]

I would like to see the paperwork.

I'm pretty sure he offered to show us just to create the illusion of credible evidence. We're not actually supposed to ask to see it! If anyone's a criminal here, it's for your crimes against proper etiquette.

Don't worry, banana. I'm behind you all the way. But seriously, I want you to consider my advice.

[nyphonejacks]

Don't worry, banana. I'm behind you all the way. But seriously, I want you to consider my advice.

does that seller accept wallmart gift cards as payment?

[not a banana]

I've blacked out some information because I'm slightly concerned about my privacy.

[murd0c]

Brad has it right, drop all contact with your former life, move several states away...like say...four or five states away. Wait around two/three years or so, call the local PD to see if you've got any wants or warrants. Fuck paying $10,000 to that place, you obviously needed that money more than they did.

[ApprenticePhreak]

Brad has it right, drop all contact with your former life, move several states away...like say...four or five states away. Wait around two/three years or so, call the local PD to see if you've got any wants or warrants. Fuck paying $10,000 to that place, you obviously needed that money more than they did.

I can't tell if murd0c is being sarcastic or not on the 'fuck paying them' part. But it's Wal-Mart. They make bank by rolling in, offering minimum wage jobs en mass, and then violate every anti-trust option they can find.

That 10k isn't even a drop in the bucket for them. So head to a state with at least one L in it. Live there. Build a new life. Get training being someone's car jockey bitch boy. And don't make a facebook account, either. That's just retarded something awful.

[murd0c]

Brad has it right, drop all contact with your former life, move several states away...like say...four or five states away. Wait around two/three years or so, call the local PD to see if you've got any wants or warrants. Fuck paying $10,000 to that place, you obviously needed that money more than they did.

I can't tell if murd0c is being sarcastic or not on the 'fuck paying them' part. But it's Wal-Mart. They make bank by rolling in, offering minimum wage jobs en mass, and then violate every anti-trust option they can find.

That 10k isn't even a drop in the bucket for them. So head to a state with at least one L in it. Live there. Build a new life. Get training being someone's car jockey bitch boy. And don't make a facebook account, either. That's just retarded something awful.

I'm not being sarcastic, there are plenty of ways to drop off the face of the planet, people do it all the goddamn time. Usually it's not for stealing $10,000 of Wal-Mart giftcards, usually it's for murder or drug offenses. You got any money? You're going to need it for wherever you're going? How about a car, or a decent way to get where you're going (train, bus, but no air travel) Plan everything out as extensively as you can, then make your get away.

[frog]

does that seller accept wallmart gift cards as payment?

I sent him a message to ask.

Dear ravensports,

would you accept Wal-mart gift cards as payment? I have a lot (+/- $9000). I see that you accept eBay giftcards, they are probably kind of the same.

This was his response:

Dear XXXXX,

Hi! How much total spendable value (USD) in Wal-Mart gift cards are you proposing to trade for this hang glider + shipping? I am open to the idea, but I would like to know more. I'm guessing that I would end up re-selling much or most of the value on the gift cards...

Brad Kushner, Pres.
Raven Hang Gliding, Inc.

(262)9X3-8XX0 cell
XXXXXX@hanggliding.com

[not a banana]

I spent the gift cards already.

[frog]

At any rate, I'm still somewhat furrow-browed on this one. Wal-mart is known for being crazy sons of bitches when it comes to prosecuting shoplifters. I googled some news articles of Wal-mart employee theft, and people are getting prosecuted for $500 and less.

So why are they doing this extra-judicially?

[blu3b0y]

do you still have a copy of the fake coupon you used? Also what state do you live in? They might willling to extradite you for 11k.

[murd0c]

At any rate, I'm still somewhat furrow-browed on this one. Wal-mart is known for being crazy sons of bitches when it comes to prosecuting shoplifters. I googled some news articles of Wal-mart employee theft, and people are getting prosecuted for $500 and less.

So why are they doing this extra-judicially?

Sounds like that gal will get off with a slap on the wrist; a fine and a small probation time at most. Maybe a week in jail if she's super-unlucky.

That's why it's important to put as much distance from the scene of the crime and where you are. Got relatives that live far away? Tell them you'd love to come visit them for a bit, then find a cheap place to stay, a shitty job and just look nervously over your shoulder for the next several years. It'll become normal after a while.