RedBox and the Chilipeppers

Sometimes I write lyrics and sometimes I even end up being motivated enough to music for those lyrics and then on rare occasions I manage to turn it all into a song that people can listen to. Most of it is weird stuff and only understood by a niche group of people on the internet and that’s just the way I like it. If my songs don’t break too many copyrights, I put them on Bandcamp.

These days I’m using Mixcraft to create music, along with a couple different MIDI keyboards. I’d like to learn more complex music creation software, but whenever I try I end up just giving up and going back to Mixcraft because it’s so easy to use.

Flip All The Switches (2015)

Here’s a song dedicated to all the faithful employees of stores we’ve called and convinced them to shut off their power. In 2011, Legend did a few calls where he got employees of convenience stores to shut off all the power in the store. This song was originally played in the March 2nd, 2015 episode of The Snow Plow Show.

This is a parody song of Abracadabra by The Steve Miller Band, but I’ve always liked the Sugar Ray cover of that song better, so I paid Ben Stahl to make it sound more like that one. Here’s a music video for this song.

Free Water (2013)

Free Water is a completely original tune. I came up with the music for the chorus first, then decided on a song about stealing water from my landlord and wrote the chorus around the tune I’d created. And then the rest. I made an animated video for this song which you can watch on YouTube.

Jenny’s Area Code (2011)

This is my sequel to the 1980’s hit called 867-5309. All the music and the chorus is obviously stolen from the original song. The lead singer’s wife really is named Lisa, so not only am I stealing his music, but I’m also calling his wife a slut, increasing my asshole points by 37!

I made a video for this song by paying a Fiver girl to dance to the song. Here it is…

What City Please (2011)

This song is the story of a neurotic man who dials 411 and falls in love with an operator named Kay. Then he spends the rest of his life dialing 411 over and over, hoping to talk to her again. I love how sad and pathetic this song is. It’s based on an old prank call I made around 1994, where I begged a 411 operator to connect me to Kay, insisting that Kay likes me. (Listen to the call here.) Clips from that prank are in this song. Learn more about this song by clicking here.

Play The Game (2009)

Play The Game Curtis is a computer hacker you don’t want to mess with. Not only will he infect your computer with a virus that will blow up your home, but he will summon the powers of Satan to aid in his destruction of you. Curtis is a real person who you can learn about by visiting phonelosers.org/curtis/. Learn more about this song by clicking here.

Edgar (2009)

I started writing this one in 2007 or 2008, but it wasn’t until June 2009 that I finally finished it. This is the first original, non-parody song that I’ve made and also the first song that I created in Mixcraft. The song is based on one of my favorite 80′s movies called Electric Dreams. There is a video for it here or you can learn more about the movie Electric Dreams by visiting Jenn’s fan page. Learn more about this song by clicking here or listen to the song here.

Mildred Monday (2008)

This song was written by me in 1997 and I finally performed it 11 years later on March 15th, 2008 in episode #16 of PLA Radio. It features some classic old-school PLA characters, such as Dino Allsman, Jim Bayless and Mildred Monday. It’s a parody of a 1980′s song called Manic Monday by The Bangles. Listen to it here.

linear (2006)

This song was written by both linear and me, each of us writing most of our own parts of the song. It was written in the early 2000′s, then quickly finished up by me and published in UPL issue #29 in January 2005. I recorded the song in July 2006, playing both the part of linear and RBCP (I sound JUST LIKE linear too!). It was featured in PLA Radio Episode #10 on July 22nd, 2006. Listen to it here.

Introduction to HOPE (2008)

This song was played at the beginning of the PLA panel at the 2008 Hackers on Planet Earth convention. It was inspired by an idea of Sidepocket from the PLA Forums. It is a parody of Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up, or as most people these days know it, the Rickroll. You can watch the accompanying video here. And you can watch a short video of the PLA Panel, including parts of this video, here. “>Listen to the song here.

Boxing (2009)

This is a parody of The Coloring Song by Petra. I wrote it in the mid 2000′s and finished it up in 2009. The background music mostly came from a MIDI file of the song, but I added in the drums and changed some of the instruments and layouts.

Security Justice Promo (2009)

A security podcast I listen to called Security Justice mentioned on their show that they needed an introduction song for their podcast. It seemed like it’d be hilarious to record a song not only laced with profanities, but also that bashed the hosts of a “competing” security podcast. This is the result. I wrote/recorded this in July 2009 and then immediately wrote/recorded the similar promo for PaulDotCom below. Listen to this one here.

PaulDotCom Podcast Promo (2009)

The PaulDotCom podcast mentioned in an episode that they needed an intro song right around the same time Security Justice did. So I spent an evening in July 2009 recording this song and the Security Justice song, which is listed above. The idea was to start an epic battle between the two security podcasts that would ultimately end in fist fights between all the members during their joint podcast at Defcon. Sadly, that never happened. But you can’t say I didn’t try. Listen to it here.

Nate and Di Promo (2006)

A podcast that I listened to in 2006 had a contest for making a promo for their show and this was my submission. It was one of their last episodes before they podfaded and my promo was never played on their show. It was a great show and I miss it. In Summer of 2007 they teased us with a new episode, promising to come back, then promptly disappeared again for a couple of years. Listen to this promo here

Songs Written By Me But Performed By Others

Guilty Deter This is the first official song ever recorded for the PLA, if you don’t include our old 90′s dance mixes. I wrote the lyrics to this song in January 2005 and included them in UPL issue #29. Shortly after the issue of UPL was released, Rob T. Firefly released this version of the song. Listen to it here.

The song is about a 17-year-old character named Deter who wants to be a phone phreak but his conscience keeps interfering with his ideas. (You might remember a guy named Deter from a few of the old PLA issues.) This song is a parody of Guilty Conscience by Eminem and Dr. Dre. Listen to more from Rob T. Firefly at his home page, his music page and his Myspace.

What’s The Difference? This song was included in PLA Radio Episode #3, which was released on February 25th, 2006. The episode revolved around all the fun you could have with Deaf Relay Operators. The lyrics were written by me and the song was performed by a deaf relay operator. It’s a parody of the song called What’s The Difference by Dr. Dre.