PLA Forums
Other Stuff That Has Little To Do With PLA => General Discussions => Topic started by: MattGSX on May 11, 2007, 01:02:53 PM
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I was living with my bro and his daughter in our little slum apartment. This saturday, we got a piece of registered mail evicting us for non-payment of rent for TWO YEARS.
I could see if he wanted to say we were a month or two behind (which we're not) but TWO YEARS? Why the hell would he wait till now to do something about it if that were true? We didn't even bother fighting it, since it's a verbal lease. It's not like he can take us to court to recover the costs, and there's no way I'm going to keep paying that fucker.
Meh. So now I live with my parents again. Any fun things I can do to get back at my landlord?
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Just become homless while having a job like I plan on doing (if i remener right i belive Brad did this)
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Why would he say you're behind on rent if you're not? Were you behind at all? That's a little bizarre that he wrote 2 years on there. Isn't there proof that you've been paying for 2 years? Like canceled checked and stuff? What were you doing that made your landlord do that? You had to have done something.
Revenge ideas:
Don't move. Stay there as long as you can and fight the eviction, but don't pay anything. Just try to live there for free as long as you possibly can. Breed cockroaches, mice and fleas. Watch the movie Pacific Heights to get some really horrible ideas.
Throw raw meat into hard to reach places before you move out.
Does the landlord pay the water bill? Leave the water running nonstop for several months. Bonus if you let the water overflow onto the floors for a few months.
Vandalize the property in a way that can't be easily proven. Like take things apart and break them inside. Such as all the doorknobs. Loosen some water pipes so they drip everywhere. Remove the outlets from the walls, remove the wires from the outlets, clip the wires off so it'd be impossible to reattach them, then shove the remaining wire into the wall so it can't be found.
Pee on all the carpets.
Flush a lot of cement down the drains.
Break the hot water heater, furnace, fridge, AC, and anything else that's expensive. But don't make it obvious.
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If you have nosebleeds, do like this guy on CSI did and sneeze on the walls until they're entirely coated and it looks like a murder scene.
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If you tilit the fridge on its side and run it it will ruin the compressor and is pricy to fix.
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After you move out and you see the guy place an ad in the paper for new renters, call the paper and either cancel the ad or modify it. Maybe you could switch the number in the ad to your own so you could answer their calls. Or completely switch the wording of the ad around so it's a horrible deal. Like double the price of rent and lower the number of bedrooms, etc.
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After you move out and you see the guy place an ad in the paper for new renters, call the paper and either cancel the ad or modify it. Maybe you could switch the number in the ad to your own so you could answer their calls. Or completely switch the wording of the ad around so it's a horrible deal. Like double the price of rent and lower the number of bedrooms, etc.
Won't they try and verify who you are?
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Won't they try and verify who you are?
Why are you even asking that question? Have you been blind since you joined and not noticed what goes on behind these doors?
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1. Gas Tank (If it is not one that locks, then sneak in and open it up). Take a marble, and put it in the gas tank. What this does, is every time that moon cricket steps on the gas of her piece of shit car, the marble blocks the fuel intake forcing the car to stall. This is great because no one ever thinks a little marble can do lots of damage. Also, you can hope that she is in a busy intersection and she gets T-Boned by a tractor trailer.
2. Windshield: Depending on where you live (if it is really cold), take a large piece of saran wrap, some honey, and a paint brush. Take the paint brush and smother it with honey. Then paint the honey all over their windshield. Take the piece of saran wrap, and put it sticky side down on top of the honey. This causes a "permanent glue" type of substance, and they will have to replace their whole windshield. If you do this before a deep freeze, it will never come off.
3. Car Door: If you have a friend who has a history of chest pains / angina, then see if you can score some of their Nitro-Paste (Nitroglycerin). Wear rubber gloves, and put a good amount on the glove fingers. Smear a good layer under the door handle. What this does, it that it is a "trans dermal" system which means it gets absorbed through the skin. It will drop their blood pressure, make them vomit and pass out for a couple hours. If they are on crack, then they will most likely have to go to the hospital because they will be too fucked up to keep living.
4. Hub Caps: Depending on the type of car they have, put a bunch of small screws behind their hubcaps. When they drive there car, all you will hear is clink / clank till they take them out.
5. Hood: There are multiple things to do here
A. Go to a hunting store and pick up Doe Estrus (Urine). Put it where the windshield wipers are (intake) and the front grill. Every time they use their heat, defroster, or air conditioning, it will smell like piss.
B. Take 2 thumb tacks and electrical tape. Put 1 tack under each wiper and tape it so the sharp side meets the window. Do it before a rainy day so no one would think to look. They will use their wipers, and will hear "SCREECH." They will have little rainbow cut marks in the wind shield. Use multiple tacks for a RAINBOW effect.
C. Wait till a hot day. Buy a pack of Oscar Meyer bologna slices. Arrange the slices in a random pattern on their car hood. Hopefully, they say inside and let the sun toast the bologna. There is a chemical in the bologna that causes oxidation of paint. If it stays on long enough, they will have a polka dot pattern all over their hood, which will make their car look fucked up.
For the kid who plays outside alone:
Teach them a lesson on parenting.
Call the Department of Child Services and say an abandoned kid has been left outside for 5 hours. They will send an officer to pick him up, or find the parents and charge them with endangerment of a child. If you can time it right, wait till they are smoking crack so there is probable cause to gain entry and arrest everyone in the
As for the dog:
Before you leave, put the dog in a locked room and close the door. If you can, keep him away from the windows and close the shades.
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Un-install phone and cable by removing the jacks and wires.
Turn off the circuit breaker and disconnect outlet wires and wire nut them (individually, not together). Then turn on the breaker and the outlets won't work.
Poop everywhere
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Poop everywhere
This is the best
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moon cricket
OMGLOL
cut a small pice of dry wall out and drop a shit load of dead fish in the wall and seal it up, in fact cut the fish so the guts come out a bit, then put the piece of drywall back and plaster over it and paint over it like nothing ever happened. After a few days the smell will set into the drywall and be there forever. - watch the movie "Dirty Work" for more ideas. ;)
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Two words: pig shit.
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Four words: Semen stains on walls
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Did any one actually do any of the ideas I gave? I've actually gotten an e-mail from a complaintee.
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No, But in third grade some friends and I fucked a car really badly ( got paid though ) I put cowshit in the gastank and we also stuffed tuna in the air intakes.
No I don't feel guilty.
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My own mediocre attempt at humor has been highly amusing to myself. someone got pwnt.
This is an e-mail I recieved:
"Some asshole must have done this to me for whatever stupid reason! I took my car in to a garage where I knew the person to be working on it and trusted him. Since I got it back, the car smells really bad like urine when I turn the fan or a/c on especially. I am so sick of it. Not like I did anything to any of them, but give them business and pay my car repair bill!!!
How do I get rid of the smell? I tried hosing down the radiator but I didn't think to do where the windshield wipers are. This smell has been going on five months, but now it's summer and I have to use it more. Is it possible since they added some radiator fluid to my radiator they put it in there and that would make it smell too? This crap is not even funny. I have so much bull in my life why would someone do this to little old me? "
I then asked who it was and this is what I got:
"i just flushed the radiator/changed the radiator fluid and that's what it was some butt hole pissed in it, no more urine smell. i threw the shit in their driveway. maybe someone needs to stop putting ideas in people's head over the internet eh? Immature Animals. "
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Well, I forgot I made this topic (IE: I was probably wasted). Sorry to bump it, but there's such an amusing epilogue to this story that I can't NOT share it.
1) My brother was apparently a deadbeat. He didn't pay rent for almost 4 months before I moved in with him, and he often wasn't paying his share. The amount he owed, however, was still well under what we were evicted for.
2) My downstairs neighbor was on disability-related assistance, and Housing Authority informed her a couple months ago (I stopped by to check if there was anything that came in for me) that they would no longer pay her rent bc our landlord refused to make the house "in an inhabitable condition". Fucker never came by after we moved out to inspect the place, and now that the downstairs neighbor is out, he stopped paying his property taxes. The house is in forclosure, and I'm seriously considering putting in a bid for it, even though it's so shitty.