Speaking of Taco Bell...
1-800-SOS-TACO
Recording:welcome to the YUM! restaurant help line...for taco related issues press 1
some random phone monkey: help desk. How can I help you?
me: "Yeah I have a taco related issue, cheif! I just ate at the Taco Bell in the Pilot truck stop in Kearney, MO and I can't stop shitting!
*click*