Brad,
How about official Vests that have "Phone Losers" for the top rocker and "Of America" for the bottom with the logo in the middle? Maybe have additional patches made up like "11 Digit Prick" and "Tone Tester" Kinda like motorcycle clubs jackets. Oh yes, one more thing, please don't ever wear these at a bar. A biker might give ya a 5 knuckle education..........