You might be a phone phreak if...

[Sidepocket]

If as a gift you bought this for your cell phone:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/7830/

You are a Phone Phreak.

+2 Preakness and -5 Sex Life if you bought the Bluetooth Version.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/8928/

[nwbell]

If your idea of a "bad MFer" is someone who can't operate a blue box properly, you might be a phreaker.
If you can't EVER walk past a payfone without at least calling an ANAC, you might be a phreaker.
If you can tell the difference between an ACTS fone and a COCOT while flying by on the highway, you might be a phreaker.
If your idea of "canning" involves going out at night with a pair of pliers and a butt-set, you might be a phreaker.
If you've ever found yourself claiming to be an employee of a telco with which you have no affiliation, then asking questions to which you have no business knowing the answers, you might be a phreaker.
If you've ever chosen one vacation spot over another based on what sort of switch serves the area, you might be a phreaker.

EDIT: how 'bout some 'Here's Your Sign' for the n00bs?