My nipples are sore, and it hurts!

[Colonel Panic]

I just bought a new shirt and I foolishly wore it before laundering.

Now my nips are all inflamed and red and they hurt like you wouldn't believe!

Dr. Pepper, What can I do?

[rbcp]

Clearly suicide is the only choice.

[Colonel Panic]

That's a little extreme, isn't it? I mean, it's not exactly terminal lymphoma, just hard and painfully inflamed nips that feel like they've been hit with 80-grit sandpaper.

Will Ora-Jel would work to numb nipples?

[Nagasakinuker]

are you questioning Dr. Pepper?

[rbcp]

Questioning my advice is grounds for account deletion.  I know everything.

[Colonel Panic]

Hmmmmmm

Suicide vs. account deletion...

How can I choose?

[murd0c]

This happens to me often, its because new shirts are treated with formaldehyde (you know, that new shirt smell, keeps it nice and perserved while on the store shelf or hanger) and can react with skin.

[Devilz212]

This happens to me often, its because new shirts are treated with formaldehyde (you know, that new shirt smell, keeps it nice and perserved while on the store shelf or hanger) and can react with skin.

No, no, no! That's silly talk. Obviously suicide is THE way to fix this problem.

I'm just kidding. That has happened to me as well. Damn clothing these days. I guess the one-cent-an-hour workers simply don't care anymore about the quality of their fine products. *Cough* Walmart?

[Nagasakinuker]

I buy all my clothes at walmart $4 for a pair of jeans that usualy cost $40

Cheap clothes ftw

[Colonel Panic]

I buy most of mine at thrift stores.

[MegaKitsune]

My shirt makes my nipples HARD.

[Colonel Panic]

I'm too sexy for my shirt,
So sexy it HURTS!!!

[DBK]

Rub ice on your nipples.  (Optional: think of me while doing it.)

[ghostman]

I recommend shaving them off.

Hey man, even the Mona Lisa's falling apart.

[Colonel Panic]

A Bro? Or a Manssiere?