Pranks YOU did..

[Nod]

Should I conference them together in the wee hours of the morning?

Yes. And you should do it at random points in the day also. Do it so many times they actually start talking to each other to figure out who it is that's doing this to them. Maybe you'll get them to fall in love, maybe you'll be arrested for harassment.

[Jordi]

Fucking gay people. They always have to be different. I hate people that are different from myself. I will harass them via telephone to teach them not to be so different.

Frog, surely I'm not the one who ever took notice of the people around me. What should I do with these numbers? My intentions are not to harass but to have some harmless fun with these two telephone numbers I've acquired. Obviously it would be harassing if I conferenced them in the wee hours of the morning. It was just an idea.


Most of the content on this website could be considered harrasing. Ask Mildred Monday if you disagree.

[Nod]

Fucking gay people. They always have to be different. I hate people that are different from myself. I will harass them via telephone to teach them not to be so different.

Frog.... Clearly I'm the only one who ever took notice of the people around me.    What should I do with these phone numbers?

*ahem*

Should I conference them together in the wee hours of the morning?

Yes. And you should do it at random points in the day also. Do it so many times they actually start talking to each other to figure out who it is that's doing this to them. Maybe you'll get them to fall in love, maybe you'll be arrested for harassment.

I'm telling you. Basic harassment is the best harassment. Use the KISS method. That always works for me

[Jordi]

Fucking gay people. They always have to be different. I hate people that are different from myself. I will harass them via telephone to teach them not to be so different.

Frog.... Clearly I'm the only one who ever took notice of the people around me.    What should I do with these phone numbers?

*ahem*

Should I conference them together in the wee hours of the morning?

Yes. And you should do it at random points in the day also. Do it so many times they actually start talking to each other to figure out who it is that's doing this to them. Maybe you'll get them to fall in love, maybe you'll be arrested for harassment.

I'm telling you. Basic harassment is the best harassment. Use the KISS method. That always works for me

You know, I've thought about it, and you really can not do much with two telephone numbers that would be entertaining but not harassing..... So with that said, what should I do exactly with these numbers that could be entertaining?!

[Nod]

You're just trying to get your favorite gay waiter laid. There's nothing illegal about that unless someone is getting paid.

[Jordi]

You're just trying to get your favorite gay waiter laid. There's nothing illegal about that unless someone is getting paid.

  Busted! I could call the waiter, tell him I'm a customer, I have always wanted to tell him who I admire at the Golden Corral, put him on hold, call the biker, tell him I'm from a motorcycle repair shop and I'm also a waiter at the Golden Corral, and conference the call...  What interesting conversation that might make!

[Nod]

You're just trying to get your favorite gay waiter laid. There's nothing illegal about that unless someone is getting paid.

I didn't realize that I rhymed the last two words until just now.

Busted! I could call the waiter, tell him I'm a customer, I have always wanted to tell him who I admire at the Golden Corral, put him on hold, call the biker, tell him I'm from a motorcycle repair shop and I'm also a waiter at the Golden Corral, and conference the call...  What interesting conversation that might make!

Now you're being creative.

[Jordi]

You're just trying to get your favorite gay waiter laid. There's nothing illegal about that unless someone is getting paid.

I didn't realize that I rhymed the last two words until just now.

Busted! I could call the waiter, tell him I'm a customer, I have always wanted to tell him who I admire at the Golden Corral, put him on hold, call the biker, tell him I'm from a motorcycle repair shop and I'm also a waiter at the Golden Corral, and conference the call...  What interesting conversation that might make!

Now you're being creative.

Hey all that rhyming, now THAT'S creative!    I didn't notice that either..

[Jay-D]

So I was at the Flying J truckstop in Effingham, IL and the FIFA world cup soccer final game was on. Apparently the world cup only comes every four years. The final game was France vs. Italy. I had just gotten out of the shower and was walking down the hall and I see a bunch of truckers sitting in the lounge watching the big screen TV. There were a bunch of French-Canadian truckers there all rooting for France. One of them said "Fuck the USA can't play futbol worth shit!!" to which another trucker who didn't understand that "futbol" is what the rest of the world calls "soccer" I took offense to the whole "fuck USA" attitude and they started to get in a heated argument which made me wish I had a camcorder because I couldn't stop laughing, but the lord blessed me that day because I remembered that in my backpack I had my brand-spankin new motherfucking NINJA REMOTE and the TV just happened to be a Sony (and the remote worked great on my Sony at home). I covertly nestled the tiny remote in my fat hand and held down the channel button and it worked!! Then I cranked the volume up super loud. Everyone in the room was like "WTF??!" I was like "nobody here has the remote, the girl at the fuel desk has it." one of the canucks stomped up to the front desk and demanded to speak to the mgr. to ask why she was playing with the remote when they were trying to watch the game. After all.... it only comes every four years. I had to get up and leave the room for a few because I couldn't contain the lulz. But the epic lulz came in the end of the game because it was a tie and the game came down to penalty kicks... and that's when I started to turn the TV off. These guys were getting soooo pissed, they were all looking at each others hands and first 2 times I turned it off one of them had to go up to the fuel desk to get the remote but he had to bring it back to the fuel desk. The manager was getting very flustered because everyone was bitching. He had to stand at the back of the room with the remote. Everytime I changed the channel he had to change it back. Everytime I turned it off he had to turn it back on. One of the drivers even accused him of doing it and the mgr took the batteries out of the remote and I didn't do shit until he put them back in... ahhhh man those remotes are the shit. Well worth $9 they work on almost every TV I've come across. I attacked the TV's at Applebee's also. Great fun.

[Termite]

That's about the funniest thing I've read in a long time. I'm getting one of those tomorrow.

I was working on a construction project in Wyoming and there was this annoying drywaller who was always super hung over and reeking of booze. He was from a town a hundred miles away and slept in his car on the jobsite. He also smoked incessantly and his smokes looked like camels but they smelled like those reeking french cigarettes (Gitanes?). On top of that he played bad hair bands on a huge ghetto box and he had this mangy little dog that barked all fucking day long. So one day he doesn't show up to work and we're kind of relieved until his boss calls and asks me to go bail him out of jail, promising to pay me back. I go bail the guy out and he really looks like a train wreck but his boss is really pissed so he comes to work anyhow.

This whole time his mangy little kick-em dog has been barking- the entire time we were there at the job. Foolio has the dog tied up to his rear bumper but I have a truckload of 1/2" chip (15 cubic yards of gravel) coming so I grab the dog and lock him in the office trailer. As the truck is backing in I get this great idea and I reach back in the job trailer and pull the collar off of Benji and put it back on the chain. I then pull the chain to it's full length and have the driver dump the gravel right on it. It's a piggy-back of gravel- essentially two truckloads- so there's this huge pile of gravel with this chain coming out from under it. I then ask my lead guy- a grumpy old redneck who doesn't say much and doesn't get too excited- to go inside and tell homie to check on his dog. I'm standing just inside the door and I hear him ask, "That your dog?" The guy says, "yeah- why?" and my grumpy redneck lead guy says, "I'd check on him."

The guy walks to the back door still reeking of booze and still looking like a complete trainwreck and he goes white as a sheet when he sees this huge pile of gravel. He hauls ass out there like an olympic sprinter and starts tugging on the chain as hard as he can. I was pretty fucking surprised when he got the chain out- I didn't think it was possible. He pulls it out and sees his dog's collar and just holds it up at eye level and then starts digging in that gravel like a dog in a sandbox, flinging gravel everywhere behind him.

By this time I've opened the job trailer and have the dog in my arms and say, "Hey- uh...Tim? You looking for something?" The guy was actually a pretty good sport about it and told me later that his heart was still racing an hour later. Fuggin alcoholic.

[Termite]

Once not too long ago I dated a girl who a) was not very nice to me and b) kept all of her old boyfriend's (and many male passing acquaintances) emails in her email address book and c) made the mistake of thinking her secret question was supposed to somehow indicate what her password is (in her defense she was a bright girl who just was not remotely internet savvy.) She had been really tactless and lame about breaking up with me, and I was bummed and so did what any rational adult would do in that situation- I cracked her password. Then I went through her emails and saw what a bitch she and her girlfriends were being about me and then I saw that she slept with some guy up skiing days after she and I split up. Needless to say after agonizing over the whole deal for five long minutes (okay maybe three- about as long as it took for me to finish my beer) I was forced to send all of those guys letters from her account stating:

"I made a mistake and I regret it. I still love you and would like to talk to you. Call me whatever time- I'll be up. signed stupid girl who makes her password too easy.

P.S. I'm so horny right now! Call me!

I sat there with a buddy of mine and drank a couple beers before she called me. That was a lot of fun and I told her she deserved it and she and though we live far apart and I'd never fall for that shit twice she and I are still pretty good friends today.

[Termite]

Aw shit I forgot about this one. Right after I got divorced I was living in a condo down by the beach. I hate condo living, and more so this particular condo. There was this heinous dikey looking manager who was the most officious asshole I ever had the misfortune of dealing with. I think she was used to dealing with kids that rented and old people. She certainly wasn't used to dealing with a cultural throwback like myself. She tried to tell me I had to close my front door and that I couldn't hang towels off my back porch railing (I conceded on the towels but abstained from committing on the front door thing.) She was constantly telling me I couldn't back my truck in. The problem was that the parking spot they gave me only allowed enough turning space that I pretty much had to back in. I told her this and she told me that I'd have to approach the board about an exception and I just laughed and said. "yeah- whatever."

So pretty soon I start getting these notices on my windshield that have a huge "WARNING" in red letters and say something like:

According to amendment seven of subchapter S-13 within the stipulation of Project Rules, (E-phase, heading H;  2) you MUST park your vehicle “nose in”

and blah blah blah whatever. A bunch of shit. I just thought fuck them and ignored them- I had a collection. So one night I see them in this bucket by my front door- all these notices- and I grab one and scan it and come up with this new one:



I then printed out a fat stack of these and gave them to the kids I surfed with at a spot not too far from the condos and they spread them all over- just put them under every windshield wiper in that place. The next night was a Friday night and there was total chaos- cars parked both ways throughout the complex and the little troll manager was all bent out of shape but never had the brains or the balls to ask me if I did it. I sold my place because I hated condo living (though walking down to surf every day was pretty crip) and I moved back up to my house when my ex went away to school. The little hitler wench was fired a few months after I left. Apparently she wasn't a dike after all as she'd been screwing one of the (married) board members there. I shit you not- she now lives with him in a fourplex a block away from my house.

[TheGreyFox]

Didn't you hear that there's this shadowy cabal of lesbian atheists out to have abortions to sell the stem cells (thus condemning the unborn child to eternal purgatory) now?

O_o

[Nod]

Please give me the power to merge doube/triple posts? PLEASE? It's not fair to make murd0c deal with all this idiocy anyhow. Letsbeef.com trusts me to deal with their morons (Believe me, the n00bs here have NOTHING on those idiots.) shouldn't the PLA trust me too?

Nod for Mod in 07/08! Vote early and vote often.

Paid for by the Nod for Mod Political association. All opinions contained herein are most likely the whimsical fancies of a meglomaniacal man with delusions of self grandeur. Side effects may include anal leakege and cottage cheese thighs.

[mr_doc]

I'd vote for you.