I'm messing with shit today, sorry about the theme change. -RBCPI hate new things. -Murd0c
A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions forprayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby.“Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray,” the priest said.“No,” said the minister. “I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven.”“You’re both wrong,” the guru said. “The most effective prayerposition is lying down on the floor.”The repairman could contain himself no longer. “Hey, fellas,” he interrupted. “The best prayin’ I ever did was when I was hangin’ upside down from a telephone pole.”
* Q: If a doctor carries a black bag and a plumber carries a toolbox, what does a mohel carry?* A: A Bris-kit! A man who has finally made it in business treats himself to a new Lamborghini. After buying it, he feels guilty so he goes to the Orthodox Rabbi and asks for a mezuzah for the Lamborghini."You want a mezuzah for what?" the Rabbi asks."It's a Lamborghini,""What's a Lamborghini?" asks the Rabbi."A sports car.""What? That's blasphemy!" the Rabbi shouts. "You want a mezuzah for a sports car? Go to the Conservatives!"Well, the man is disappointed, but goes to the Conservative Rabbi and asks for a mezuzah."You want a mezuzah for what?" the Rabbi asks."For my Lamborghini", the man replies."What's a Lamborghini?" asks the Rabbi."A car, a sports car.""What kind of sports car?" asks the Rabbi."Italian.""What? That is blasphemy!" the Rabbi shouts. "You want a mezuzah for a Goyishe car? Go to the Reform!"Again, the man feels guilty and disappointed, but goes to the Reform Rabbi."Rabbi," he asks, "I'd like a mezuzah for my Lamborghini.""You have a Lamborghini?" asks the Rabbi."You know what it is?" says the man."Of course! It's a fantastic Italian sports car. What's a mezuzah?"
