more nigerian-scam baiting

[linear]

the original email:

GREETINGS   ,
My names  are DR SALEH JUBRIL.I am the operational manager in account
section incharge of credit and foreign bills of one of the
prime banks
here in Nigeria. I am writing in respect of a foreign
customer of my
bank (MR. ANDREAS SCHRANNER from Munich, Germany) who
perished with his whole families on
25TH JULY,2000 CONCORDE PLANE CRASH [ Flight AF4590 ] with
the whole
passengersaboard[http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm]PLEASE CHECK THE WEB SITE
 There is
an account opened in this bank in 1998 by this great late
INDUSTRIALIST
who died without a written or oral WILL attatched to the
account. Since his death , I personally has watched with
keen interest
to see the next of kin but all has proved abortive as no
one has come to claim his funds
and no other person knows about this account or anything
concerning
it, the account has no other beneficiary and until his
death he was the
manager of his company. The total amount involved
is$42,000,000.00 USD.[ FORTY
TWO MILLION DOLLARS) ]. We wish to start the first transfer
with
$20,000,000.00[Twenty million] and upon successful
transaction without
any disappointment from your side, we shall reapply for the
transfer ofthe remaining balance to your
account.I have secretly discussed this matter with the
general manager
of my bank who Imust involve in order to have a smooth and
a successful
transfer of the fund to any foreign bank account which you
are going to
nominate.On this note, I decided to seek for a reliable
foreigner who will act as the
foreign beneficiary of the fund from the deceased by
providing his/her
bank account where the fund will be transferred into for
immediate investment
on any viable project as no one has come up to be the next
of kin.The banking ethics
here does not allow such money to stay more than six years
without claim hence the money will be recalled
to the government treasury as unclaimed after this long
period of domancy. In view of this
I got your contact through my personal search to see if you
can assist
by providing your safe bank account for the transfer or
find a reliable
person who will be capable of receiving such amount in his
or her
personal account.
I WANT TO INVEST IN YOUR SECTOR AND OTHER BUSINESS
 I wait in anticipation of your co-operation in reply and also
ready for any
questions concerning the clearity of this transaction.
I WILL SEND YOU DOCUMENTS
Your sincerely,
DR SALEH JUBRIL

My reply:

This is the type of opportunity I've been waiting for all my life!

Let's get this started right away!

THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL AND ANTICIPATED INTEREST IN THIS TRANSACTION.
 
PLEASE BE REST ASSURED THAT THIS BUSINESS IS 100% RISK FREE.
PLEASE BE REST ASSURED.
AM 55+ YEARS MARRIED WITH FIVE KIDS. AND I WILL NOT DO ANY THING THAT WE LEAD MY FAMILY AND I INTO TROUBLE  WITH MY GOVERMENT.
PLEASE ATTACHED IS THE DEPOSITE CERTIFICATE.
PLEASE CHECK.
 
PLEASE MY ONLY PROBLEM IS HOW TO GET MY SHARE OF THIS MONEY AFTER THE TRANSFER IS MADE TO YOU.
 
PLEASE DO NOT BOTHER ABOUT THE DOCUMENTATION IN THE BANK HEAD QUARTERS. YOU NO THE FORMER BANK WAS FIRST ATLANTIC TRUST BANK. SINCE THE RE-CAPITILIZATION OF BANKS IN NIGERIA, THE NAME HAS BEEN CHANGED TO SKYE BANK. BUT STILL THE SAME BANK.
I WILL HANDLE THIS ASPECT.
 
 BUT I ONLY NEED A FORIEGNER WHO WILL ACT AS THE LATE GERMANY RELATIVE.
 
PLEASE FORWARD TO ME YOUR FULL NAME , YOUR ADDRESS, MOBILE NUMBER AND PRIVATE TEL/FAX NUMBER. SO THAT  I CAN START THE PROCESS IN MY BANK.
I HAVE TO EMPLOY THE  SERVICES OF A LAYWER WHO WE ACT ON YOUR BEHALF.THAT IS IF YOU CANNOT COME TO NIGERIA YOUR SELF.
 
PLEASE WHAT I ONLY NEED FROM YOU IS THE TOTAL CONFIDENTAILITY OF THIS BUSINESS.
I WANT IT SECRET DUE TO POSITION I HOLD IN MY PRESENT GOVERMENT.
THIS IS DUE TO THE LAW OF MY
COUNTRY CIVIL SERVICE.WE ARE
NOT ALLOWED TO NIETHER TRANSFER
FUND OUT SIDE COUNTRY NOR ALLOW
TO OWN A FOREIGHN ACCOUNT.
PLEASE CLICK ON THIS LINK TO READ.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4513172.stm
 
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/4253362.stm
AND I WILL  BE OBLIGED IF WE CAN ARRANGE A MEETING TO MEET AND KNOW EACH OTHER.AND DISCUSS HOW TO TRNASFER THE MONEY LITTLE BY LITTLE.
 
IF YOU AGREE I WILL SEND YOU A COPY OF MY INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT.PLEASE I WANT YOU TO GET ALL THINGS RIGHT BEFORE WILL START THE PROCESS.
 IWANTED CALLING YOU. YOUR PHONE NOT GOING. I TRY AGAIN.
 
THANKS ONCE MORE.
I WAIT FOR YOUR REPLY SOONEST
WARMEST REGARDS
DR.JUBRIL SALEH

The ensuing Yahoo log

Session Start (the_linear:salehjubril55): Wed Sep 06 02:48:09 2006
[02:48] salehjubril55: HI
[02:48] salehjubril55: <ding>
[02:48] the_linear: hi there. 
[02:48] salehjubril55: THIS IS SALEH JUBRIL
[02:48] salehjubril55: HOW ARE U?
[02:48] the_linear: I was just giving you the run-around. I'm too lazy to continue. We all know you're a big scam, so I'll free you up to go scam others.
[02:49] salehjubril55: PLS BE SMART TO CONTINUE
[02:49] salehjubril55: WHO TOLD U THIS A SCAM?
[02:50] the_linear: I get about 5 identical emails a day, just like yours. it just takes a little common sense to know it's bullshit.
[02:50] salehjubril55: PLS MINE IS DIFFERNT
[02:50] salehjubril55: WHY NOT TRY ME]
[02:51] the_linear: you might omg hax me, and i'll never be able to become unplugged from the matrix.
[02:51] salehjubril55: Y
[02:51] salehjubril55: PLS TRUST ME
[02:52] salehjubril55: AND BELAIVE ME
[02:52] salehjubril55: WERE THERE ARE BAD PEOPKLE
[02:52] salehjubril55: U FIND GOOD ONES
[02:52] the_linear: okay! I'm convinced! send me some checks and i'll cash them immediately!
[02:53] salehjubril55: we canot transfer fund this way pls
[02:53] salehjubril55: read my last email to u
[02:53] salehjubril55: vey well
[02:54] the_linear: PayPal it to me
[02:55] salehjubril55: the fund is large
[02:55] salehjubril55: we have to transfer via scotland bank
[02:56] the_linear: Scotland Bank accepts PayPal transfers.
[02:56] salehjubril55: the law in my country
[02:56] salehjubril55: did u read my last mail?
[02:57] the_linear: yes, but i can't understand a word of it. your english is a disgrace. all the other nigerians are way better.
[02:58] salehjubril55: why must u talk this way
[02:58] the_linear: why must YOU talk this way? you're the one with the atrocious grammar. but I respect you for making the effort to learn!
[02:59] salehjubril55: am sorry
[02:59] salehjubril55: yes
[02:59] salehjubril55: please due to lawiof of my country
[02:59] salehjubril55: is not possible
[03:00] the_linear: alright. mail me a $1 bill every day fr the next 43 million days, until i have it all. Cash only. unmarked, non-sequential USD bills.
[03:00] salehjubril55: pls
[03:00] salehjubril55: we could arrange ths
[03:00] salehjubril55: i just need yr informations
[03:01] salehjubril55: for the documentations in my bank
[03:01] salehjubril55: though i have it from your site, but just need a go ahead fr u
[03:01] the_linear: oh, you have it from my site? great! my site is up to date and accurate, so use that informations.
[03:02] salehjubril55: pls
[03:02] the_linear: You're in Germany?
[03:02] salehjubril55: u have to act as a relative to the late germany
[03:02] salehjubril55: no
[03:02] salehjubril55: am in nigeria
[03:02] salehjubril55: but yr numbers is not there?
[03:02] the_linear: No problem, I'm related to a lot of Germans.
[03:03] salehjubril55: yr nos
[03:03] salehjubril55: phone?
[03:03] the_linear: My phone number is not on there? Which site are you looking at... perhaps it's an old one?
[03:04] salehjubril55: <ding>
[03:05] the_linear: 206-338-4429   [note: this is the UPL K7 vmb, i changed the outgoing message]
[03:05] salehjubril55: let me have yr new site
[03:05] salehjubril55: <ding>
[03:06] the_linear: no, that is the new one... i must have forgot to put the phone number there
[03:06] salehjubril55: ok
[03:06] salehjubril55: you are a web site disigner
[03:07] the_linear: Also, I sell turtles.
[03:09] salehjubril55: i will send u a copy of my passport by tommowrow
[03:09] salehjubril55: <ding>
[03:09] the_linear: Okay, and then you will start sending me the $1 bills, right?
[03:10] salehjubril55: no
[03:10] salehjubril55: i have to change your name
[03:10] salehjubril55: as the relative to the german
[03:10] salehjubril55: then transfer vis
[03:10] salehjubril55: our corresponding bank
[03:11] salehjubril55: <ding>
[03:11] the_linear: Okay!
[03:12] the_linear: What will my name be?
[03:12] salehjubril55: i will replace it
[03:12] salehjubril55: as an inheritor
[03:13] salehjubril55: and i will also employ a service of a laywer on yr bahalf
[03:13] salehjubril55: that is if u cannot come over
[03:14] the_linear: Will youpay for my plane ticket?
[03:14] salehjubril55: i do not have fund
[03:15] salehjubril55: and the account is also bonded
[03:15] the_linear: Okay, I can work some overtime. I've always wanted to visit dresden.
[03:15] salehjubril55: how?
[03:16] the_linear: I can buy the ticket with my own money.
[03:16] salehjubril55: when
[03:16] salehjubril55: how option
[03:16] the_linear:  i caould do it soon. Just tell me where to fly to. I'll be there in a week!
[03:17] salehjubril55: nigeira
[03:17] the_linear: Should I meet you at the airport?
[03:18] salehjubril55: if you tell me
[03:18] the_linear: Okay, we can arrange that.
[03:19] salehjubril55: pls do
[03:19] salehjubril55: and let me no
[03:19] the_linear:  is there many airports in Nigeria?
[03:19] salehjubril55: should i stop[ the whole process till u come
[03:20] the_linear:  no, let's keep everything in motoin
[03:20] salehjubril55: how
[03:20] salehjubril55: bc i have to pay the lawyer
[03:20] salehjubril55: about 25,000
[03:20] salehjubril55: for his legal fees and transfer cost to scotland bank
[03:20] the_linear:  but it will be worth it, we'll have a few million when it's all over.
[03:21] salehjubril55: yes
[03:21] salehjubril55: i intend to mortagage my house
[03:22] the_linear:  i intend to blow it all on booze and hookers.
[03:22] salehjubril55: what?
[03:23] the_linear: Should I call you once I've bought my plane ticket?
[03:26] the_linear: Or are you easy to find in Nigeria?
[03:27] salehjubril55: no
[03:30] the_linear: so how should i contact you once i am in Nigeria?
[03:32] the_linear: <ding>
[03:35] the_linear: HELLO?

and it ends there. i like how he keeps trying even after i told him i was messing with him.

[silentneep]

[03:21] salehjubril55: i intend to mortagage my house
[03:22] the_linear:  i intend to blow it all on booze and hookers.

Brilliant, sir.

[Altalp]

 Dr Saleh Jubril  did not like me so much..


 altalp: hello
 salehjubril55: yes
 salehjubril55: who are u
 altalp: i got an email
 salehjubril55: fr who?
 altalp: you
 salehjubril55: not me
 salehjubril55: ok
 altalp: yes it was you
 altalp: 2 weeks ago
 salehjubril55: not me
 altalp: yes it was You
 altalp: why are you refusing to talk to me now
 salehjubril55: what is yr name
 altalp: Fred
 salehjubril55: bye
 altalp: what is wrong with you!?
 altalp: I thought i was going to get some money for helping you
 altalp: HEY
 altalp: why dont you want my money now?
 altalp: IS MY MONEY NO GOOD TO YOU NOW!?

[Raptor]

im supprised you were actually talking to him in a live chat, whats next, the scammers calling you up on skype??

[CountyKid]

linear, that chat log was brilliant.


  I'm going to print out some nigerian scams, and read them at a local poetry slam as my own work.


  "I will, send many money to you in exchange of advice, from seller to buyer."

[Raptor]

countykid, Oh noes! "your file is not found"!

[sub_zenith]

http://209.243.13.219/nigerians

My collection of chat logs with nigerian/romanian/<insert third world country here>ian scammers. Most of them are from irc.darkunix.net #CCpower

PS: Don't click on the links in the chat logs (unless you happen to enjoy Last Measure).

[rbcp]

This is from today:

[14:53] sweetbabe_1980: Hello, I Am Felicia.........Are you interested in a immediate partime job offer..... which wouldnt affect your present state of work and we are willing to pay $500 for every transaction.
[14:54] brad_the_carter: i want $600
[14:54] sweetbabe_1980: really
[14:54] brad_the_carter: no, make it $700
[14:54] sweetbabe_1980: let start with $600
[14:54] brad_the_carter: oh, you want to play hardball, do you?
[14:55] brad_the_carter: i want $950!
[14:55] sweetbabe_1980: get away
[14:55] brad_the_carter: no, YOU get away!
[14:55] brad_the_carter: i will pwn you
[14:56] brad_the_carter: give me my $975, lady!