You might be a phone phreak if...

[MIB]

I want to get something started here. Jeff Foxworthy is famous for his "You might be a redneck..." jokes. Therefore I came up with a few "You might be a phone phreak..."  jokes.

Here goes,

If you have a half dozen vans in your driveway and they all say Ball Atlantic on the side, you might be a phone phreak.

If you have a payphone hooked up in your house that you use as a regular home phone, you might be a phone phreak.

If you dress up as a telephone repairman for Halloween at the same time the phone company discovers some work uniforms missing, you might be a phone phreak.

When your guests ring your doorbell and they hear redbox tones instead of the traditional ding-ding, you might be a phone phreak.

If you never paid for a phone call a day in your life while your neighbor gets a $3000 phone bill each month, you might be a phone phreak.

If you beige box a call to your cell phone to see what your ring tone sounds like, you might be a phone phreak.

Add some more to the list.
MIB

[rbcp]

If you're afraid to sleep in the nude because of a possible early-morning bust by the Secret Service, you might be a phone phreak.

If you pick up your phone several times a day just to make sure the phone company hasn't shut it off yet, you might be a phone phreak.

You might be a phone phreak if you have blue and yellow stripes painted on your car.

[Raptor]

You know your a phone phreak when you replace every word that stats with F with a PH
You know your a phone phreak when you shake your head and frown when someone asks you for change for a payphone
You know your a PLA phreak when you have cactus growing in your front lawn.
You know your a phone phreak then you hear red box tones in your head.
You know your a phone phreak when you spend the equivlent  hours of 16 days reading a website about prank calls and chilli peppers.

[MattGSX]

If you love Captain Crunch but have never heard of the cereal, you might be a phone phreak.

If you beige calls from your own home to get a clearer signal, you might be a phone phreak.

If you can only think of redboxing when you hear an ad for Axe (ACTS), you might be a phone phreak.

If you can identify local operators by the sound of their voice, you might be a phone phreak.

If the movie Tron makes you think of PCS phones and diapers, you might be a phone phreak.

If you actually liked Elephant and Bird, you're probably a phone phreak.

[.]

if the first thing you do every phreakin morning is to call the clock service just because you need to feel the speaker over your ear.

Happy now? uhh GG??

About the below post from Frog, oh goodness yar a genius! haha

[gangals]

if the first thing you do every freakin morning is to call the clock service just because you need to feel the speaker over your ear.

phreakin

[frog]

You might be a phone phreak if you start a thread called "you might be a phone phreak if...", but it's unlikely.

[MIB]

Here's some more.

If your final wishes is to be driven pass your favorite phone booth before you get to the cemetery, you might be a phone phreak.

If you got your grandparent’s a lineman’s handset as a 50th anniversary gift, you might be a phone phreak.

If you ever spelled PLA with Christmas lights, you might be a phone phreak.

If you ever wrote on the bathroom wall “For a good lay call <insert telephone line test number here>, you might be a phone Phreak.

If you get a job at TGI Fridays and every single piece of flair you wear are PLA buttons, you might be a phone phreak.

If you name your pet gerbil Roy, you must be a PLA phreak.

MIB

[nb7899]

If the local Blockbusters, Mcdonalds, BurgerKing, Grocery Store, and the town's bigest redneck all hang up at the sound of your voice, you might be a phone phreak.

If instead of going out on Friday nights, you call bars and harass the people who do, then you might be a phone phreak.

If you have a tan line on the side of your face, you might be a phone phreak.

[dotnine]

If anyone hangs up as soon as you start talking, you might be a phone phreak.

[.]

If you know the Area code of every State in your country well you are a phone mental!

[ghostman]

If you practice saying "My chkram is shaped like cactus" in Borat's voice, you might be phone phreak.

If your license plate says 420PLA, you might be a phone phreak.  At least.

Nice stripes Arby - just like the down lines in TV football, it looks so reel!

[MIB]

Some more I came up with.

If you convince your parents not to buy stock in AT&T because the price will drop because of millions of fraudulent calls, you might be a phone phreak.

If you sit on top of a phone booth to keep it from getting removed by the phone company, you might be a phone phreak.

If you move out of your parents house and divert incoming call to your new phone because you were too lazy to give everyone your new number, you might be a phone phreak.

If your wife says “It’s either me or the TNI box..”, you might be a phone phreak.

MIB

[trevelyn]

If you smell musty like a Bell Service manhole - you might be a phreaker.
If you wear a PLA RADIO RULeZ button on your bag (full of phone equipment) - you might be a phreaker.
If you know both frequencies for each tone of MF's *and* DTMF's you might be a phreaker.
If you get the same feeling you get from falling in love - when you hear a dial tone while beige boxing - you might be a phreaker.
If you can make your caller ID say PLA RULeZ - you might be  a phreaker.
If you know the serial numbers (and have some glued to your computer desk at home) from telephone poles - you might be a phreaker.
If you can change your voice to any living creature without changing the expression on your face, and lie like a sunova-bitch. - you might be a phreaker.

- i had to try, this post is fun!! -    

[MIB]

I'm beginning to run out of these things.

If you watch any of the Godfather movies expecting to see some phone mobbiing take place, you might be a phone phreak.

If buy all of your neighbors a cordless phone and bought yourself a police scanner for Christmas, you might be a phone phreak.

Edit to add some more.

If you use pieces from an old telephone for ornaments for your Christmas tree, you might be a phone phreak.

If you think a TNI box is a part of a woman's anatomy, you might be a phone phreak.

If you go to hacking/phreaking conventions to pick up women, you might be a phone phreak

If you make change in the offering plate at church to use the pay phone........wait there's no need you have a redbox for that purpose.

If you spray painted your girlfriend's name on a phone booth, you might be a phone phreak.

If your phone bill more than your annual income, you might be a phone phreak.

If the most serious loss from a fire are the PLA issues you printed out, you might be a phone phreak. (If the insurance adjuster pays you for it, then he's one too).

If you ever hit a telco can with your car on purpose, you might be a phone phreak.

Be right back with more I gotta take a shit.

Here's more.

If you leave the house are being tailed by the Secret Service and phone company security and your only concern is losing them, you might be a phone phreak.

If your high scool prom's theme song was 8675309/jenny, you might be a phone phreak.

If you petition city council to erect statues of Kevin Mitnick, Captain Crunch and other phone phreaks, you might be a phone phreak.

OK that's all I could think of right now.

MIB