I've got one, and only one. It's about eight inches tall, and lives in a small pot. I got it from my bitchy mother. Ah, what the heck... I'll tell the story.
So there I was about two years ago, a week or two before my birthday, playing with Asterisk. I came across savant's hacked-up version of Asterisk.Annoy, and thought it might be fun to play with. Since my mom lives across town and is a total bizzotch, I figured it would be interesting to put the recording of Allison saying "all your base belong to us" into the script, set it to spoof CID, and make it call her about fifty times a minute. So I did.
Then, after about an hour of hammering her, she calls me up and asks me what the hell I think I'm doing to her fone (since I am behind most everything that is Bad and Wrong, after all). I feign ignorance, and ask her how often the calls come, what they say, what the CID is, etc. She mostly falls for my act, and tells me that they come constantly, from 666-666-6666 (the spoofed CID), and say "all your days belong to us". Since she claims to be religious, she says this is clearly some evil satanic hax0r trying to make her crack (BTW, she already had went loopy a couple years prior and IMHO never recovered). I told her that she was obviously hallucinating again, and to get some sleep and take her pills. She then got pissed and said she was going to call the cops.
Another hour passed. She calls again, telling me she had the fone off the hook, and begging me to make the "satanic" calls stop. I told her I had no control over it, and referred her to some "randomly Googled" PLA issues that "would help explain the mindset of these horrible haxors". She hung up and went to read them.
About fifteen minutes later, I killed the script. She called again five minutes thereafter, insisting that I was behind the calls. I just laughed. She hit the celing, screaming about how I was CACTUSING her so badly, and how I was going to hell and all that. I then told her that the message said "all your BASE", laughed some more, and hung up.
On my birthday, the cactus appeared at my office. Attached was a note explaining how to care for the cactus, which ended with a line that went something like:
"When you go to cactus someone, think of this little cactus, and think of how much Jesus loves you. I know you'll do the right thing."
The cactus has brought me good luck through many pranks and two mobbings since
PS: No, I'm not really that cold usually. But my mom is a complete and total shithead. You'd have to know her to get it. Just trust me.
So that's how I got my cactus. It still sits on my desk to this day.
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