Dear Jammie,
I don't have any motivation. The only reason I get out of bed in the morning is because I have to pee. The only reason I go to sleep at night is because of my Ambien pills. What do you suggest?
Dear murd0c,
As we've previously discussed... desperation + forward thinking + strong will = motivation. What part of that equation are you missing? It sounds like you have a pretty cushy future no matter what you do... and I think that takes away from your forward thinking and certainly does not leave you desperate. In a case like yours, I think maybe you just need to grow out of it. At some point your friends (and possibly your family if they get desperate to change you) will stop enabling you and you'll be ready mentally to turn over a new leaf and become an adult. You have to dislike your situation enough to spark a change though.
A strong will is another part of the equation because if times get harder, you need to be able to stay strong and not crumble under emotional pressure. You need to be able to do what is right for your future and not just put a quick emotional bandaid on if something goes wrong.
I suggest something pretty simple... map out your life. Think about what you want before you die and put it on a timeline. A list isn't good enough. When you put a reasonable time limit on a goal it will feel more real. Do you want children? Where do you want to live? How much income do you need to make to keep yourself happy? Do you have any academic or career goals? Everybody wants something, just figure out what that something is for you.
In fact, this will sound cheesy, but I will share with you my "Values Ladder." When you write down what your values/goals are, you are better able to shift your life in the proper direction to achieve those ends. The Values Ladder is a tool I found in a Finance book and hopefully Brad won't get sued that I'm putting it down here. Even though it is about money, it really helps you get insight to what you really want to achieve. By using this, perhaps you'll have an easier time planning out the rest of your life:
1. Relax and think about what you want for yourself and not what other people want for you.
2. Think about "What's important about money to me?" and write it on the bottom rung.
3. Think about "What's important about [the value your wrote] to me?" and write that on the rung above it.
4. Go on until you can't think of anything more important than the last value you gave.
Values are things like: Freedom, Security, Happiness, Peace of Mind, Power, Helping Family, Confidence, Adventure, Fun, Being the Best
My Value ladder goes something like: Independence, Freedom, Doing What I Want, Feeling More Mature, Feeling Like My Time is My Own, Feeling Like I've Lived Life Well
And that last one... there is nothing more important than that to me. What's yours?
Good luck!
Love,
jammie
