Author Topic: Blowjobs only 12 dollars, with coupon.  (Read 5560 times)

Offline mrpeanut

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Blowjobs only 12 dollars, with coupon.
« on: June 11, 2007, 11:07:30 PM »
I just paid .25 cents a jiggawatt for this hard drive. Does that make you hard...drive? As we all know a jiggawatt is a gigabyte that wants to be a man of african descent.

Offline Nod

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Re: Blowjobs only 12 dollars, with coupon.
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2007, 05:15:13 AM »
I thought a jiggawatt was a male prostitute. When you said you were getting .25 cents a jiggawatt I couldn't help but think that you were a terrible pimp....
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Offline sunaipa

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Re: Blowjobs only 12 dollars, with coupon.
« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2007, 07:48:22 PM »
This thread DOES NOT have enough niggabits.

Offline breaknick

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Re: Blowjobs only 12 dollars, with coupon.
« Reply #3 on: June 14, 2007, 07:51:31 PM »
your moms full of them.

Offline mrpeanut

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Re: Blowjobs only 12 dollars, with coupon.
« Reply #4 on: June 14, 2007, 07:59:44 PM »
This thread DOES NOT have enough niggabits.

I was funny without using this word. ME>YOU. I hope you don't get enough b-17 and your body is raped by cancer.

Offline PHISH-PHREAK

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Re: Blowjobs only 12 dollars, with coupon.
« Reply #5 on: June 14, 2007, 08:15:11 PM »

Offline Nod

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Re: Blowjobs only 12 dollars, with coupon.
« Reply #6 on: June 15, 2007, 12:26:29 PM »
With all the animal porn and fucked up shit on the net it's sad if you have to resort to racism for shock value. What ever happened to donkey shows?
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Offline mr_doc

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Re: Blowjobs only 12 dollars, with coupon.
« Reply #7 on: June 15, 2007, 03:28:18 PM »
Galvatron
Both the cartoon and the comic agree that Galvatron is Megatron, his body (and possibly mind) recreated by Unicron in the year 2005. His tech spec, however, identifies him as apparently a separate entity, with the position of City Commander.
Cartoon Bio (US):
In the year 2005, the Decepticons launched a failed attempt to capture Autobot City on Earth. In the process, Decepticons leader Megatron was gravely wounded, though not necessarily mortally. During their retreat from Earth, the Decepticons had to abandon many of their beaten warriors to cold space, whether or not they were beyond repair. Craving the leadership, Starscream also threw Megatron's body overboard. Eventually, Megatron was approached by a being of god-like power: Unicron. They talked and a bargain was arrived at. Unicron would save Megatron's life and provide him with a new body and new troops, and Megatron would destroy the Matrix of Leadership for Unicron. Deciding that a new and more powerful body would be needed, Unicron turned Megatron into Galvatron. [Ed: There's a lot of argument over whether Galvatron is a completely new being (unlikely), Megatron in memories only, or just Megatron with a new attitude.]

After his creation, Galvatron proceeded to obey Unicron but with one side-trip first, to reclaim Decepticon leadership from Megatron's betrayer, Starscream. Galvatron proved himself a more than worthy successor powerwise to Megatron by disintegrating Starscream with a single shot in his cannon mode. Needless to say, no one else challenged his claim.

Arriving on Earth as the Autobots were completing the repairs on Autobot City, Galvatron lead his new troops provided by Unicron (Cyclonus, Scourge, and the Sweeps) on a blitz of the ruined city. The Autobots managed to escape their base in two ships, but Galvatron would not be thwarted so easily and chased them both into space. Cyclonus in his jet mode shot down the ship containing Kup, Hot Rod, and the Dinobots.

Galvatron forced Ultra Magnus, who was now in possession of the Matrix, to crash land on the planet Junkion (ie. the planet of junk) where he renewed his attack. It was a short battle, one in which Ultra Magnus was quickly destroyed and Galvatron gained the Matrix. Though Unicron had demonstrated that he could cause Galvatron great pain from a distance, Galvatron apparently believed that the Matrix could protect him.

Returning to Unicron, he tried and failed to blackmail him by threatening him with the Matrix. As it turned out, the Matrix wouldn't open for him. This betrayal angered Unicron, who was considering allowing Galvatron to have the planet Cybertron but had now decided to teach Galvatron a lesson in humility. Unicron transformed into his gargantuan robot mode and began to physically tear up Cybertron. After being attacked by Galvatron, Unicron swallowed him (and the Matrix).

Galvatron landed in a chamber and was eventually met up by the Autobot Hot Rod after the Autobots penetrated Unicron's eye with a spaceship. Although he wanted to ally with Hot Rod against Unicron, Galvatron was forced by Unicron to fight him instead. Although he did quite well, Hot Rod was eventually pinned down by Galvatron, at which point Galvatron began to slowly crush the small Autobot's neck. When Hot Rod's hands came into contact with the Matrix around Galvatron's neck, it changed him into Rodimus Prime. This new Prime quickly took advantage of Galvatron's surprise and threw him through Unicron, where he eventually crashed into a lava pool on the planet of Throb.

After the Autobots recaptured Cybertron in Galvatron's absence, the remaining Decepticons relocated to a planet called Charr. Cyclonus, Scourge, and the Sweeps returned from wherever they were and decided to rescue the energy-depleted Decepticons by finding their true leader Galvatron. They tracked him to Throb where what they found could hardly still be called a leader. Apparently, the combination of being thrown through Unicron's armor and lying in a lava pool had damaged Galvatron's mind, leaving him insane.

From this point on in time the Decepticon's could gain only marginal victories at best. The insane Galvatron beat on up his own troops rather often. He did almost defeat the Autobots with a bluff at one point, and made deals with and plotted against the Quintessons many times. Galvatron has earned the distinction of (probably) being the only being in the galaxy to drive an entire living planet over the edge. Near the end of his recorded tenure as Decepticon leader he formed a more lasting partnership with a political group (the Hive) of the Nebulans race by cooperating with them in building Scorponok. After Scorponok lost his battle against the new Autobot base, Fortress Maximus, he and his occupants, including Galvatron, were propelled uncontrollably through space.

Beast Wars Addendum:
What became of Galvatron beyond this point is currently unknown even though statements by the Maximals would seem to suggest that he either was never heard from again (at least within a few hundreds years beyond his departure) or that he returned and was defeated forever.
Cartoon Bio (Japan):
After the Hate Plague was cured, the Destrons kept a low profile. Galvatron came in contact with Scorponok of the planet Master, who agreed to let his Headmaster warriors help Galvatron.

Scorponok soon became Galvatron's right hand man and advisor (always seeming to hide in the shadows most of the time). Galvatron and his army transported themselves into the old Destron Spacebridge center, from which he launched a full-scale attack on the Cybertrons in an attempt to retake Seibertron. With the new Destron Headmasters, the Cybertrons where greatly outgunned, until Fortress, a Cybertron from Master, and his army arrived. Galvatron and his forces were unable to fight off Fortress's immense ship and were forced to pull back as Convoy headed for Vector Sigma.

Galvatron returned to Charr, where he sent Soundwave along with the Predacons to stop Broadcast and Hot Rodimus from finding the Matrix, which was hidden in a secret Cybertron base being recharged. Galvatron watched as Soundwave and Broadcast fought to what appeared to be the death. Galvatron then went himself with the Terrorcons and Destron Headmasters to get the Matrix. Fighting against the Cybertron Headmasters, the Destrons would have taken the Matrix from Hot Rodimus if it wasn't for the creation of Computicon.

The Cybertrons went back to Seibertron to take the Matrix to Convoy to stabilise Vector Sigma and prevent it from destroying Seibertron. Galvatron followed, and a fight started in the center of Seibertron. during the fight, the ghost of Alpha Trion (who was aiding Convoy in his journey to Vector Sigma) turned into an energy ball and merged with the Matrix, recharging it to full power. Hot Rod Opened it and became Rodimus Convoy again. So now Galvatron had to face off against two Convoys. Galvatron was easily overwhelmed and thrown into a wall. Convoy then started his way to Vector Sigma in an attempt to merge his energies with it to make it stable again. Galvatron tried to attack from behind but was thrown into Vector Sigma and was knocked out. Convoy merged himself with Vector Sigma and his body died. Although Galvatron was utterly defeated, he managed to eliminate the Cybertrons greatest leader again, leaving Rodimus Convoy in charge. Galvatron then continued to launch campaigns to either cripple the Cybertron army or to collect Energon for one of his insane plans. When the Cybertrons were producing Seibertonuron, a new metal that was even stronger than Seibertonium, Galvatron wanted to get some to make a sword that he would use to crush his enemies.

Galvatron launched a full-scale attack on Seibertron. Meanwhile, Scorponok had his men secretly plant bombs in Vector Sigma to destroy Seibertron. When the bombs where planted, Scorponok tricked Galvatron into going to the center of Seibertron alone. All the Destrons and most of the Cybertrons got off the planet, and the explosion seemingly killed Galvatron. But Galvatron returned alive and well! Similar to when Galvatron first appeared, his return was during a the coronation of Megazarak (Scorponok merged with his Headmaster body) to be new Destron Leader, only this time, Galvatron didn't kill the person wanting to be leader. Galvatron continued to lead his Destrons on quests for Energon that spanned all over the galaxy. Finally, Galvatron's plan became clear: he wanted to use all the energy he collected to rebuild himself into a huge planetoid much like his master Unicron. Galvatron never got this wish, because soon after revealing the plan, he was attacked at his secret desert base by the Cybertron Headmasters, having been tipped off by Counterpunch. This fight soon led to the arctic, where the Cybertron Headmasters overwhelmed Galvatron with their Head-Formation attack. Galvatron was knocked into the ocean and was buried under tons of ice.

Years later, Dark Nova resurrected Megatron as Super Megatron. Super Megatron's first order of business was digging old Galvatron out from under all that ice and then killing him for good. What a way to go....
Bibliography:

    * Four Warriors Come Out of the Sky: Galvatron returns
    * Birth Of Double Convoy: Galvatron is beaten by Convoy and Rodimus Convoy
    * Seibertron is In Grave Danger Part 1: Galvatron launches another attack on Seibertron
    * Seibertron is in Grave Danger Part 2: Galvatron is seemingly killed in Seibertron's destruction.
    * The Return Of The Immortal Emperor: Galvatron returns after a long leave of absence.
    * The Immortal Emperor Vanishes On An Iceberg: Galvatron dies alone against the Cybertron Headmasters.

Article submitted by: Nick Peron.
Comic Bio (US):
In an alternate timeline, Galvatron was victorious in taking over North America, and was known to have killed Rodimus Prime. He was then swept into the "main" timeline by Unicron's heralds in that time period (Hook, Line, and Sinker) in order to inform Cybertron of his arrival (and to cripple preparations against him). He arrived on Cybertron and attacked the Autobase, where Emirate Xaaron was stationed. He then followed the fleeing Xaaron to the center of Cybertron, where Xaaron tried to contact Primus. Hook, Line, and Sinker pursued and battled Galvatron, and were killed as a result.

After Unicron's defeat, Starscream and Shockwave stole the Ark and left for Earth. Little did they know that Galvatron was on board, and Megatron and Ratchet had been brought back on-line by Nucleon. Galvatron, wanting to end his insanity, tried to kill Megatron, but stopped once he realized he'd possibly erase himself from history. While Starscream went looking for Autobots brought back on-line, Shockwave found and attacked Megatron. Galvatron steps in and the two team up against Shockwave. Meanwhile, Starscream and Ratchet duke it out in the lab, which detonates the Nucleon, causing the Ark to crash in northern Canada. At first, Galvatron appears to be the only survivor.

Spike Witwicky is called telepathically to Northern Canada by Fortress Maximus (whose body was still in the Ark). They combine again to take on an amnesia-stricken and definitely insane Galvatron. Fortress Maximus fires first, making Galvatron attack savagely. Galvatron at first has the upper hand, beating Fortress Maximus with his hands and even tearing off parts with his teeth. But eventually, Fortress Maximus and Spike settle their differences and the Autobot knocks Galvatron into the icy waters. Galvatron has been missing ever since, and assumed dead.

Bibliography:

    * Transformers #78: Galvatron battles Megatron later teams up with him.
    * Transformers #79: Galvatron seemingly killed by Fortress Maximus.

Article submitted by Nick Peron.
Comic Bio (UK):
In 1986, Optimus Prime, Prowl and Ratchet disappeared in a spectacular blaze of light while giving a routine briefing. Suspecting it was the Decepticons' doing, Jazz led a small group to spy on their coal mine base. They arrived in time to witness the entrance of three previously unknown Decepticons - Galvatron, Cyclonus and Scourge. Galvatron claimed to be Decepticon leader from 20 years in the future, and wished to "borrow" the Constructicons from Megatron. Megatron refused, but his fusion cannon blast didn't even scratch Galvatron. Cyclonus and Scourge buried Megatron and Soundwave under tons of rock, and Galvatron ordered Laserbeak and the Constructicons to follow him. (The other Earthen Decepticons were Autobot prisoners following the battle with Omega Supreme.) Cyclonus found Jazz and Hound and captured the former. Hound was saved by the timely arrival of Ultra Magnus from Cybertron. The Matrix Flame on the Transformers' homeworld had gone out, and Magnus was on Earth to discover what had become of Optimus Prime, holder of the Matrix.

The Autobots led a mission to rescue Jazz without Ultra Magnus, which ended in disaster. Galvatron just stood there and laughed as they poured their firepower into him, and then he beat the fuel out of Jetfire, Tracks, Smokescreen and Ironhide and sent them packing. Meanwhile, under Galvatron's orders, the Constructicons were building an enormous weapon aimed out into space.

Galvatron revealed to Jazz that he was in fact Megatron, given a new body 20 years in the future by a being called Unicron following defeat by Optimus Prime on Earth. This cannon being constructed was designed to destroy Unicron upon Galvatron's return to the future, freeing the Decepticon leader from his control. The cannon was tested and destroyed the original Decepticon starship, which was still cloaked in Earth orbit from 4,000,000 years ago.

Ironhide freed Megatron and Soundwave, and together with the Autobots they defeated Scourge, one of Galvatron's lieutenants. Meanwhile in the Ark, Starscream, Thundercracker and Frenzy had awoken. Starscream teamed up with Galvatron for a short while, the latter finding it amusing, as he knew Starscream was destined to die at his hands in 2005. Thundercracker and Frenzy met up with Shockwave in the deserted coal mine base, and suffered the same fate as Prime, Prowl and Ratchet. Elsewhere, three more visitors arrived from the future - the Autobots Hot Rod, Kup and Blurr.

The remaining Autobots, led by Jetfire, exchanged Scourge for Jazz. Unknown to them, Jazz was under Galvatron's control and attacked his friends, causing them significant damage. Under Galvatron's instruction, Starscream rendered Megatron and Soundwave inoperative, but when he moved to kill them Galvatron stepped in and made him join them. Then Ultra Magnus, having finally learnt from Kup that Prime's disappearance was due to Galvatron's time-jump, arrived on the scene and took on Galvatron. Magnus was no match for Unicron's ultimate warrior, but while he provided the distraction, the three future Autobots destroyed Galvatron's super-weapon and made it look like Starscream's work. In his rage, Galvatron obliterated what he thought was Starscream (though it was in reality a deactivated Skywarp, who nevertheless survived this due to his inoperative status). Knowing Starscream was destined to die at his hands in 2005, Galvatron thought he had entered a parallel universe, and that nothing he accomplished would affect his future. He rounded up his lieutenants and returned to early 2006, to be punished by Unicron and then lead the Sweeps to Autobot City on Earth.

Hot Rod, Kup and Blurr also departed, and the Transformers displaced by time- jumps to the Limbo dimension returned. Ultra Magnus returned to Cybertron.

When he was thrown out of Unicron by Rodimus Prime in early 2006, Galvatron again activated his time-jump mechanism. He displaced Skids to Limbo and crash- landed on Earth in the past. His crash caused him permanent mental instability. First off, he destroyed the battle droid Centurion and beat the fuel out of Blaster, Perceptor, their Mini-Autobot companions and the Dinobots. Then he constructed an energy siphon on the volcanic Mount Verona, to extract the energy from an eruption for his own personal use. He was thwarted in this by Rodimus Prime, Kup, Blurr, Wreck Gar and Death's Head (who pursued him once more from the future) and the present-day Goldbug and Ultra Magnus. Magnus and Galvatron were buried under tons of molten lava in the eruption, and the other future visitors departed again for 20 years hence.

Galvatron was accidentally freed by Soundwave and the Combaticons in an attempt to destroy him. He raided Shockwave's underwater base and defeated Piranacon in battle before withdrawing. Over the next few years he fought another battle with Ultra Magnus, who had been freed by the Sparkabots, and then one with his old lieutenants Cyclonus and Scourge, who themselves had travelled back from 2008 to fall under Scorponok's command and become Targetmasters. Emirate Xaaron's Wreckers also joined in this battle.

In 1989, a rift in space-time caused by the time-jumps of Cyclonus and Scourge, who had circumvented the mass-displacement of beings in the present, threatened to destroy the fabric of reality. The Wreckers, together with the Decepticons' Mayhem Attack Squad (Carnivac, Catilla, the Duocons and the Deluxe Insecticons) came together from Cybertron to forcibly return Galvatron, Cyclonus (who had been killed by Megatron but whose body remained) and Scourge to their own time. Rodimus Prime, Kup, Blurr, Red Alert, Arcee and the future Ultra Magnus arrived from 2009 to do the same, pursued by the Terrorcons and future Decepticon leader Soundwave.

In the battle that followed, the Deluxe Insecticons were killed by Galvatron, who had convinced a clone of Megatron to help him. Roadbuster, Rack'n'Ruin, Sandstorm and the Jumpstarters also fell. Powermaster Optimus Prime was helpless, watching the battle through the Matrix from Limbo, where he had been displaced by Rodimus Prime's time-jump.

When he could watch no more, and Rodimus himself had been defeated, Optimus Prime used the Matrix as a stepping stone to return to the real world, and engaged in all-out combat with Galvatron. Before a victor could emerge the rift arrived. It tore Galvatron apart circuit by circuit and sucked up his remains. As it threatened to destroy the Earth, Scourge realised he had to sacrifice himself and flew into the rift. Then Shockwave arrived with Cyclonus's remains and sealed the rift with an x-ray blast. In the aftermath, the last of the future visitors returned home, the fate of Unicron's creations as yet unknown.

A second Galvatron appeared in 1991, summoned from a different future by Unicron to go before him as he approached Cybertron. After Unicron was destroyed in that same year by Optimus Prime, this second Galvatron boarded the Ark, now under the control of Shockwave and Starscream. There he encountered the real Megatron, but Ratchet crashed the Ark on Earth. This Galvatron was missing, presumed dead, following a battle with Fortress Maximus on Earth, but returned in 1992 when the Ark had been reclaimed by the Autobots. He tried to control the thoughts of Prowl, Wheeljack, Sunstreaker, Ironhide and Silverbolt, but fell prey to his own mind-bug. He was then deactivated and put into stasis in the Ark's medical pods.

UK Comic article contributed by Martin McVay,
with contributions by Joel King and Desert Moon.

I think I just pooped a little in the thread too
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Offline Nod

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Re: Blowjobs only 12 dollars, with coupon.
« Reply #8 on: June 15, 2007, 03:57:03 PM »
No wonder this got moved to FHDYF. I mean FPORP. FPORP? What kind of acronym is that?
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Offline frog

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Re: Blowjobs only 12 dollars, with coupon.
« Reply #9 on: June 17, 2007, 04:00:17 PM »
No wonder this got moved to FHDYF. I mean FPORP. FPORP? What kind of acronym is that?

It's not an acronym, it's an initialization. Gb2/womb.
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Offline Nod

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Re: Blowjobs only 12 dollars, with coupon.
« Reply #10 on: June 17, 2007, 04:52:08 PM »
Got me there I guess. Loving the new Harry Potter theme though.
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Re: Blowjobs only 12 dollars, with coupon.
« Reply #11 on: June 17, 2007, 07:30:52 PM »
Got me there I guess. Loving the new Harry Potter theme though.

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Re: Blowjobs only 12 dollars, with coupon.
« Reply #12 on: June 28, 2007, 04:32:06 AM »
Where can I find the printable version of these coupons??? Can I use them at the rub'n'tug places in Surry Hills?????