Workers Compensation

[Tachyon]

What's the easiest (and preferably least painful) way to injure myself at work and get money for it? I was thinking going to work at McDicks and sticking my hands on a burner or something, but maybe one of you knows an easier way.

[frog]

Stress. Go to a shrink, stutter a lot, make it really convincing, get a note. My boss, he, and he, he, he just, m-m-m-my father he's, I can't believe he did, ughhhh, do you know what it's like to have a part of you die, like shrivel and rot inside you? I just, I just, there's nothing to describe this...

[Dr. Craven Moorehead]

Stress works well.

But we'll miss out on Tachyon's crispy deep fried middle finger 

[zon.doubt]

Try something like. you know some form of panicy girl syndrome. "For christ's sake after working at McAsswad's for x amount of time, it alll started becoming clearer. This "Quote from the establishment" seemed like the real answer for me to promote and foster true american pride; meanwhile the staff(especially the guy that hired me) subtely subjected me to really beleive that this is the american way.



Please someone else finish this for me I hoipe I helped out if not tell me why Fuck You;.,/?-_===+

[Lestan Gregor]

I once cut off 1/3 of my thumb working a t Quizno's. I was cleaning the meat slicer and shing! We never found the missing part.....

I got worker's comp and then was fired.

[Dr. Craven Moorehead]

Try something like. you know some form of panicy girl syndrome. "For christ's sake after working at McAsswad's for x amount of time, it alll started becoming clearer. This "Quote from the establishment" seemed like the real answer for me to promote and foster true american pride; meanwhile the staff(especially the guy that hired me) subtely subjected me to really beleive that this is the american way.



Please someone else finish this for me I hoipe I helped out if not tell me why Fuck You;.,/?-_===+

[Tachyon]

I actually find this guy fucking hilarious, it's like talking to a Nigerian scammer who will actually stop talking about the fucking gold for a minute.

[rbcp]

How about faking a back injury.  As you're lifting something heavy, your back goes out.  It happens to people all the time and I don't think there's any way to disprove it.

[mr_doc]

Same for head injury. You could say you've got migraines and lack of concentration or whatever you want. Bonk your head on something hard enough to bleed a little and 'pass out'

[Zazen]

Be sure to check the company's policys on drug tests. Where I work a drug test is mandatory after an accident.

[Dr. Craven Moorehead]

Be sure to check the company's policys on drug tests. Where I work a drug test is mandatory after an accident.

Tachyon is very thankful for there is no workplace drug tests under the maple leaf.

[Tachyon]

Oh he is.

He's certain that if his particular call center did something like that they'd lose over half the workforce on the first day.

[Zazen]

He's certain that if his particular call center did something like that they'd lose over half the workforce on the first day.

It would just boost sales of test-defeating products for the day. That's pretty cool though, not having tests in Canada.