Couldn't verify this story but my foster brother told it to me in the 1990's or so..........claims it's real. Maybe do a search for chinese food and nh ?
Some disclaimers before we start::
1) Put the kids away....graphic content.
2)Don't ever try this yourself (not that you would want to after reading this)
3Doing this may get you free room and board against your will......
This story revolves around a bitch, a particular bitch with a real mean streak. You see, she went out for Chinese food one day. She was seated, as this was a nice sit down restaurant. What comes next is hard to believe......
Waiter:" Would you like to order"?
Bitch: " Look asshole, I'm in a hurry and you look retarded. I want General Tso's chicken and I like it REALLY spicy!" "Get it now or I'm leaving."
Waiter:"You don't have to act like that!"
Bitch: "Get it out here NOW muthafucker or I'm outta here!!!"
Well we all know how the waiter felt at that moment.....or at least we THINK we know........waiter goes back to the kitchen, confers with cook.
Waiter:"That bitch is crazy".
Cook:" I know, she's been coming here for years, she totally sucks ass."
Waiter:"Anything we could do?"
Cook"I don't know, let me think......"
In the meantime, the food is prepared and brought out. The bitch is now consuming it like a condemned woman about to go to the chair.
Bitch:"I SAID HOT, HOT HOTTTTTTTTT!!!!! WHAT PART OF FUCKING HOT DO YOU NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND!!!!!! DO IT OVER ASSHOLE!!!!!!!"
It gets worse, much worse...........
The waiter picks up the plate to bring back to the kitchen. As he turns to walk away, the bitch spits on him. SHE FUCKIN' SPIT ON HIM!!!!
Angry as all hell, the waiter goes back to the kitchen and confers with the cook again..............
Waiter:"I can't take this, she spit on me!"
Cook:"Holy shit!
Waiter:"You gotta do something, I am going to kill her!!!"
The cook assesses the situation and comes up with a killer idea............
Waiter:"What ya got in mind?"
Cook:"You'll see...."
To the astonishment of the waiter, the cook whips out his cock and starts jerking off like a mad man. He comes and blows a load all over the bitche's plate with the general tso chicken.
Cook:"Take that shit out now to here.....see if it's hot enough for her now."
The waiter is in shock at what he just noticed but complies and takes the plate of now tainted food back out to the bitch.
Waiter:"Try the food now"
She takes a mouthful and starts chewing.
It gets worse still.................
This stupid bitch starts choking and she breaks out in a rash all over her face. Paramedics are called, she goes to the hospital. Cops arrest the cook and waiter. Restaurant is closed down for health code violations, etc.
What was the cooks secret weapon?
Well, it just so happens that the cook was sick with chicken pox and he knew that if he just shared the love a bit.................you get the idea.
Revenge is mine saith the Lord. I will repay.
