Hi guys, you might have noticed that people have been writing 'so i herd u liek fonez' on the fruitwall recently. In case you didn't know, that's an allusion to 'so i herd u liek mudkipz' (for the full story go to
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Mudkips). Here's the phone version of that, written by me.
Today being Halloween, I decided to fuck with the major retard at school when I stopped red-boxing the payphone for a quick break. He was dressed as RBCP. Knowing this was going to happen, I brought a rotary phone. Thus I started the conversation, making sure no one saw me.
"So I heard you like phones..."
"MUDKIPS? I LUUUUUUUUUUUUVE phones."
"O RLY? So, would you ever fuck a phone, that is.." (he cuts me off before I could said 'if you were a phone')
"OF COURSE."
"Well I just happen to have a phone here, and..."
Before I finished the sentence, which would have resulted in me hitting him across the face with the handset, he grabbed it. In one swift motion his pants were down and he was violently humping it. Not to get between a man and his phone I started to walk away, because there is no way I'd be caught wrestling a half-naked crazy guy humping a phone.
Needless to say, within 5 to 10 seconds, some cacti saw him and started screaming. I cooly walked into a restroom, pretending nothing had ever happened; not that I had intended that outcome, but now that it was in play I didn't want to be involved.
I came back out two minutes later, and like any wanton act within a mile of the telephone exchange there was now a huge crowd around him. He was still fucking it and making this real fucked up 'BRRRRING, BRRRRING' sound. Suddenly a scuffle broke out in the middle, meaning he probably did something stupid.
I asked someone what had happened. A girlfriend of one of the cacti tried to get him to stop, but he red-boxed her for trying to take it away. Someone called in a few phone phreaks (all dressed up like murd0c) who proceeded to pummel the shit out of the guy. Meanwhile, the local Baby Bell's security were freaking out and having trouble getting in to the situation.
A few minutes later the intruder alarm went off and we were all shuffled into classrooms. Over the phone the operator announced that someone had thrown a ringing rotary phone into the library. Uh.. what the hell.
So we were kept there and about 30 minutes later the operator came on again. This time he was saying that whoever was behind the pranking should turn themselves in. All of a sudden this woman began yelling, "I WILL SUE YOU FOR DAMAGES. YOU LITTLE PHREAKS, I'M GONNA SUE..." and it was cut off.
I asked another operator later what had happened. Apparently his phone company, who had rented the phone to him, had cut off his phone service and threatened to sue for the beating and 'whatever else happened.' Ma Bell threatened to counter-sue because of lewd conduct, inciting a riot, and social engineering.
So I ask you: do u liek fonez?
