ever use an IDE?

[trevelyn]

not an integrated drive electronics cable! no! Some piece of shit software to help you with another shitty software!  Mr. Doc once said that Java was a piece of shit.  I wouldn't be saying this but i accidentally bought a shitty google phone thinking i was a hipster.  yeah.  anyways, i found over the last few weeks of punch my hands through drywall that Java is a true piece of slowly burning piss.

1. why are there so many repeated lines in Java?  I don't get it.. coming from a company that made data de-duplication that's pretty fucking lame.  I feel like I have typed the word "return" 508993874 times in the last 3 weeks.

2. why is it so bloated? (as part of #1.) to make something object oriented + portable and optimized across tons of low hardware requirements, .. doesn't make any sense to me.. why not STAY WITH FUCKING C PROGRAMMING? static? what?

3. why is there a method of using XML files which are converted to byte code during compilation for laying out the user interfaces?  What the fuck?
What if I didn't know XML already?  "Yeah, uhh, you need to learn another language too cos our's is too lame to do this without writing 50 extra lines of code per Activity." I think Sun is infatuated with XML.

4. IDE - all of the ones I have used in Windows are a fucking joke.  Eclipse for instance, why does it seem that after developing for about 1 hour or so it starts to play fucking games?  Like it had a bit too much CPU time and now it's delirious? what the fuck, dude, the people who created that need fucking drawn and quartered in my home.  in my basement.  What's cute is when my code compiles fine, no errors in the IDE, yet when i install the app on my phone I get a FORCE CLOSE button.  Yeah, good. Thanks IDE.  I code in nano and vi. period.

5. SDK's.  Is there really a need?  Think about it.. Google offers SDK's for there platforms, yet it requires like 30 lines of code to play an mp3 sound when you press a button.  SDK... (S)o you (D)on't have to (K)now.

6. The life of Java.. how has it lived so long you say? well, only the good die young?

Once I release my applications (in a few days or so) for Android or Mongoloid whatever it's called, I am never touching Java again in my life.  Which sucks because I just learned that Amazon is releasing YET ANOTHER SDK FOR THE KINDLE.  YAY. JAVAA>A.


FUCK YOU JAVA.
you caved my poor lil head in... 
processors are faster, intepreters are faster.  everything is just getting faster and more efficient in so many languages now like php/perl/ruby/python.. why hasn't java gotten any better?

Here's a cute example from Sun's prestigious website about their glorified mobile phone language:

Code: [Select]

class WhileDemo {
     public static void main(String[] args){
          int count = 1;
          while (count < 11) {
               System.out.println("Count is: " + count);
               count++;
          }
     }
}
That's a while Loop.  watch this, here is the same code in Perl:

Code: [Select]

while ($count < 11) {
          print "count is" . $count . "\n";
          $count++;
}

Now one may think that Perl does all the work, magically, that Java compilers dont, so I am a dumb coder since I type less.  Am i?  I type less and do the same job.  "public static void main" ?  what the fuck is that a hipster beat poem?
I can't do this anymore.  My life is now in shambles.

Here's a cool example of trying to make your phone vibrate:

Code: [Select]


So, vibration can be done within two lines of code !

Sample Activity:
Java:
public class AndroidVibrator extends Activity {
     android.os.IVibratorService myVibratorService = null;

     /** Called when the activity is first created. */
     @Override
     public void onCreate(Bundle icicle) {
          super.onCreate(icicle);
          setContentView(R.layout.main);

          // Receive the VibratorManagerService
          myVibratorService = android.os.IVibratorService.Stub
                    .asInterface(ServiceManager.getService("vibrator"));

          // Do a short (100ms) vibration.
          try {
               myVibratorService.vibrate(100);
          } catch (DeadObjectException e) { }
     }
}

Direct quote from that bone heads forum.  First he creates the activity, then comes line 1:

Code: [Select]

android.os.IVibratorService myVibratorService = null;
That creates a variable needed by the vibrator service.
line 2:

Code: [Select]

myVibratorService = android.os.IVibratorService.Stub
                    .asInterface(ServiceManager.getService("vibrator"));
Yeah, that's actually 1 line in Java.  We must excuse the code for being so bloated, and pretend.  (it's 2.)  That creates an object using something similar to libraries in C. why create an object? cos it only makes sense when you dont want to write 1's and 0's but you wanna be hip and go low level.
line 3,4,5: (wait? line 3? he says in two lines you make the phone vibrate..)

Code: [Select]

try {
               myVibratorService.vibrate(100);
          } catch (DeadObjectException e) { }
That just makes so much sense doesn't it?  deadobjectexception e.   Sounds like something windows would say to you when it closes an application for no apparent reason.

Well, 2 lines of code to a Java programmer actually means 5 (6 if you count the extremely long line that takes up two "lines") lines.  (You don't need to be a mathematician to wear glasses i guess, thanks plusminus!)  You really know why?  It's because of the IDE.  The IDE will add all kinds of shit to the program for you after you code.  Yeah, you see your code look like a spell error in Word with a red squiggly underline, right click and it fixes the code for you.

cute huh?  Another cool thing about IDE's is that if your mouse touches anything in the window, you get a big pop up explanation dialog that covers most of the code you want to read.

whoopsey!  There's something called androidmanifest.xml  that needs to be editted as well, you need to add aline into it to add "permission" to use the fucking sacred vibrating device...

<uses-permission android:name="android.permission.VIBRATE"></uses-permission>

what the flying fucking rats ass fuck turd?

Here's one that's fucking GOLDEN:
Eclipse IDE once more.  You edit your XML file and ALL the lines get underlined with YELLOW fucking squigglies!  you say "What the fuck am i doing?  Why am I using this piece of garbage.. oh yeah Java is too MASSIVE to type out by hand."  You exit Eclipse and go back into the application and guess what???

NO GRAMMAR ERRORS!! WOW!  ALLZ I HAZ 2 DU IZ REZTART IT!!!/!/?/

I like when you add  new resources to your workspace tree but the R.java file has no idea where they are.  In the IDE you edit the R.java file and you get a pop up spam-like window saying "SUMN EDITTZ MEH R.JAVA FOILE, YE CUNT! SO EYEZ POOT IT BACK WHERE THA FAHK IT WAZ!"  And that new resource folder (used in every tutorial every on internet universe, is never usable by your IDE.

cute.

[Nod]

inb4 trev climbs a clock tower.

[trevelyn]

sorry i was so mad, but it felt good to vent.  I have had a stressful time lately.

[MattGSX]

Clearly. This is why I code using a rock and chisel.

[Nod]

Java is, in many ways, C++– –.
—Michael Feldman

[trevelyn]

Java is, in many ways, C++– –.
—Michael Feldman

haha the rock and chisel comment was awesome too! Well, I finally released an app into the Google Market, but it's not my best.  It's an app to listen to Taming The Electron.  I can't believe how fucked up the process was.  First of all, Google charged me $25 just to publish "free" apps.  Then once I was charged that, I tried to register my bank account to sell apps too.  No dice.  I get a webpage that says "Oops!" and cannot get a response from Google at all for help.  I send them requests for help and get automated responses that say "sorry but we dont respond to individual emails, we are too fucking cool for school."  Yeah, not only have I lost ALL respect for Google after this experience, but I feel so badly for all those people who Google deny support for over they're broken Nexus One phones.  Anyways, I found threads by simply searching Google for something like "google market oops" or whatever and found out that a LOT of people have this issue. 

So, fuck them.  I will simply sell my application via PayPal until I get them to cooperate.  I mean, who was an Android phone that's not rooted? 

Jesus, then when I was uploading the free TtE app, I kept getting errors that were not errors.  You know, when someone fucking sucks at coding PHP and has no idea that they need to be a bit more verbose??  Yeah, that's Google.  Turns out after searching Google for something like "android market publish button does nothing" or whatever, and found out that I actually need to submit the maximum allowed screenshots or none to publish the app in their store. 

what the fuck?

Yeah, then I got an Email from someone about the Kindle SDK and so I followed it and had to politely ask Amazon to be a beta coder for them.  What a fucking joke.  The Kindle runs on Java as well, so if I get denied for some hilarious reason it doesn't even matter to me anymore.

Yeah, fuck you Google for not hiring people to answer emails or phones, especially now that you sell hardware with your fucking name on it.

[PHISH-PHREAK]

Java is, in many ways, C++– –.
—Michael Feldman

I mean, who was an Android phone that's not rooted? 

So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?" U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is ded". THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

[Nod]

At least you're smart enough to learn a programming language Trev. Try as I might I can't get past the most basic theory.

[trevelyn]

At least you're smart enough to learn a programming language Trev. Try as I might I can't get past the most basic theory.

I can help with that!

[PHISH-PHREAK]

At least you're smart enough to learn a programming language Trev. Try as I might I can't get past the most basic theory.

I can help with that!

Didnt you have a bunch of docs you made on the topic or did they die a death of fire and brimstone?

[trevelyn]

Yeah, there's a good Perl doc on my site that would help out a newbie tremendously.  But I like taking time with people when teaching them.  Not just saying "RTFM."  We can do an AIM / IRC / learn to code session if you would like.  Seems to help most people out more when I do it that way.

[Nod]

My problem is that I can't find a book or manual or anything with enough examples. I have to see the code to understand what's going on and it seems like as soon as the books get past basic stuff like PRINT and INPUT they just kind of forget to show examples of the code.


EDIT- Can I even rune PERL in Windows?

[Godot]

Can I even rune PERL in Windows?

Sure.

http://strawberryperl.com/

[trevelyn]

Strawberry Perl is awesome.  Nod, I can help you, seriously.  My Perl book is an extremeeeeely easy paper to go by, that's why I made it.  It only covers intro basics and gives lots of analogies and such.  Plus, I can answer any questions you have too! 

[Nod]

I'm going to take a look around the WeakNet site and see if I can read your intro to perl without my head hurting. I'm almost always on EFNet in #phonelosers and my MSN can be made available through PM if you're interested. I don't want to post it here 'cause I don't even like most of these people so there's NO WAY I want them to have it.