They're not my ideas. I found a website called
Fun With TelemarketersAsk "Can you hear me now?" when they say yes tell them "Ok, my phone service is fine then"
Sigh in relief and inform the telemarketer that you've just maxed out your other 10 credit cards and still need a new liver.
Answer the phone and say - "Hello", when they ask to speak to your parents ask them to hold, and then start playing Mary Had a Little Lamb on the phone, here's how; 6,5,4,5,6,6,6 - 5,5,5 - 6,9,6,5,4,5,6,6,6,6 - 5,5,6,5,4
Telemarketer: I'd like to offer you a great long distance plan...yada yada...
You: Really? Well at present time, I'm getting free long distance!
Telemarketer: How's that?
You: I'm screwing a guy/girl that works at sprint/MCI/ATT (whatever they don't represent)
I like the last trick though.
MIB