2007: PLA will buy out Verizon and Qwest, thus making it one of the two biggest phone companies in America and placing it in direct competition with AT&T.
2009: After two years of playing catch-up, AT&T will surrender and merge with PLA, forming "The New PLAT&T". RBCP begins responding only to the name "Pa Bell". The nation panics.
2011: After an extensive field test in Roy, NM, PLAT&T rolls out the new 6ESS switching system nationwide. Key features include faster call routing, in-band trunk signalling, and new features to deliver harmful or lethal voltages to problematic subscribers based on their individual calling habits.
A suit was filed jointly by the FCC, BBB, UPL, and NAMBLA to prevent the rollout, but CEO Brad "Pa Bell" Carter decided to go forward anyways. On the day of the nationwide cut-over, Carter issued a statement to the groups which read, in part, "Cactus cactus cactus cactus cactus." The written statement also reminded telephone users to dial carefully, and to be sure to say "ibabababababababa" when speaking with the operator.